Saturday, November 27, 2004

S Bomb

I spoke to my mom about Mike's "cursing" problem on the way up to his college. I said, "oh mom, you know he says the 's word'? and he says it's genetic because he gets it from you." Then she starts to laugh and she says "oh i can't believe it! Remember when he was a little kid we had to stop saying the 's word' because he would go around saying it?" and I was like "wha?" I don't remember my parents being big cursing freaks around the house... Get this! She thinks Mike's faux pas was saying the word "stupid"!!!! She thinks her son goes around saying the word "stupid" instead of the word "shit" (or shet, as Filipinos say it)! Now I sat back and didn't say anything. She can go on living her fantasy world. She did say she would tone down her road rage in front of him. heh.

Now what bothers me is the question "has she really created this delusional world in which her favorite, youngest, only son (the one that carries our ancestral name) can do something that is almost seen as "cute" (oh look he goes around saying "stupid", he thinks he's a big boy now)" and "will she end up hating the messenger for bringing her the news?" if so, then I'm keeping my mouth tightly shut. God, when she finally sees that her little fantasy isn't true I hope she doesn't shatter. I've seen evidence of it. You know those movies where the woman's unnatural smile cracks open when the news becomes too much to bear and underneath is this seething beast or a sad sack of black bubbley goo? That's what I imagine.

Thank god I sorta broke that mold (with me) and she's a little more accepting of whatever I tell her. That's why I'm always surprised whenever I tell her something that I think would cause the figurative plates to shake she just says "okay that's good" and lets it pass. But that means I broke her heart and now she's clinging to the only good thing in her life and that would be my brother Mike. I worry for him and hope he wont tell her anything that would kill her. Eeee. I worry about them both. Eh, everything's good. Right?

Sorry about bitchin' about the scrabble, doesn't bother me.

I really do enjoy being around both of them and vice versa but I've become that person staring on the outside and I can see better from here than if I were in the midst of it. It's strange because I don't think I can do anything about it even if I can see it all unfolding in front of me. heh.

I've become too serious. I just woke up and need nourishment. Okee, there was something else I wanted to add but I can't remember it. Oh well.

Have a great day all. I will be posting from Massachusetts after today. Christmas time is here!!! Oh happy day.

Me.