Monday, March 28, 2005

Get It All In Now

I think the cable is going on Wednesday, so I can't post anything until we're in Florida. I'm not sure what day we'll get there and I'm not sure how fast we can get an internet connection up so you might not hear from me for several days.

Today the moving truck comes and Rich and I will be hauling everything into it. We are a bit worried because it's raining and we don't want the boxes to get too wet. We'll have to search around for a tarp or something to cover them up as we make our way outside.

Rich's uncle is here and he wont stop telling us about the benefits of moving to Florida. He lists the weather, the call for people in the computer industry, real estate, the inexpensiveness of things, the weather, and the weather. He said the other day, "Hey you're looking pale! Wait til you get some of that sun" to Rich. But we all know that any kind of sun makes Rich burn and peel, hence his paleness.

I just hope I wont be experiencing a hurricane while we're down there...but secretly I do. His mom gets scared over a little thunder and lightning. I'd maliciously like to see how she feels when things are swirling around outside banging against the windows, and how the roof is going, piece by piece. And screaming over the howling noise, "how do you like Florida now?"

Then I think, "Good Lord, that is so mean and unchristianlike" and then I say 'don't hit us with a hurricane because I will be tempted, good lord. Amen.'"

;0)

Satan! Be Gone!

Luckily we might not be hit by a hurricane anytime soon. His uncle said that the last time Orlando was hit with a hurricane was 1962, then the three in a row they got last year. It could be a fluke. Or, again, it could be that there are changing weather patterns and Orlando will be getting hurricane after hurricane, as Rich points out. Well we'll see. Oh and guess when the hurricanes like to come around? Yep, September. My most favorite of months. That's why I hate Florida. I wanted my wedding in September...

So before we physically move from one state to another, (is it 11 states we have to drive through?) I'm gonna update all the fuh-dazzle around the sides of my blog. I've gone through two books since that one on the list, I know I've heard some music since that last entry, and someone is requesting a new poll so I'll get too it. Maybe, if I have time, I'll try to put up a new layout. How's that sound to everybody? Okily dokily. Be good. Oh and if anyone wants to say "goodbye" to me in person (only the people I know in real life please) come on down to the Pallisades Mall on Thursday. But only if you're going there anyway because we'll be up and gone as soon as Rich and I return from bringing back my car. You know what? On second thought, don't. We're not sure when we're leaving and what time we'll get to the rendevous point, the Pallisades Mall. Hope to see you all alive and well, sometime in the future!

Me.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Jagged Little Chill

So, remember my "Palm Sunday" story? Well this Thursday (Good Thursday) I went with my husband and mother-in-law to the dump, to help 'dump' a few things... I picked up an old 14 lb weight that we were stacking in the "swap" area and felt this intense, sharp pain in the thumb as it slipped across the face of the weight. I took a look at my thumb and saw that it was spotted with a perfect globule of blood. I immediately thought it was a splinter because that's what it felt like. I reported it to Rich and my monster er mother-in-law and she handed me a towelette and bandaid.

When we got home Rich pulled out his tweezer set and set to work as I sat on the toilet, hand over sink, head between arms and trying not to flinch everytime he probed too deeply. But after a while of little explosions of pain, mingled with relief, I was ready to take the tweezers and jab someone's eye out. I told him to leave it and we decided that there probably wasn't anything there since we didn't spot anything. We even tried to numb it with ice, so that he could open up the flaps of skin and reach deeper in.

Cut to the next morning, a few minutes after getting out of bed I felt jab of pain in my thumb. This time I grabbed it with my right thumb and forefinger and using my nail I slowly worked it over just above the area, back and forth until I saw a little sliver of something pop out. I placed it on the tip of my nail and saw that it was a jagged piece of glass. I knew it. Little bastard. Now my thumb no longer hurts and I wont have a repetition of my Palm Sunday.

Yep, I'll post something after this one, just to make up for lost time.

Me.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Update


Lookit this, there was no snow on the ground this morning!! Trust the goddamn weathermen to tell it wrong. Idiots. Actually the sun's out and our thermometer says its 51 degrees. hmm.

Me

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

alright overactive imagination made me say 4 feet. it's really 4 inches. i gotta run now.
Just Not In The Mood

Well I've been tricked once more. I've been walking around in flip flops outside, on the sly, feeling that warm-ish tingle from the 50 degree weather we've been having. (Come to find out that our digital thermometer was broken and it really wasn't 50 the few times I stepped outside, more like 40 something.) But now they're telling me that I wont have my 40/50 weather. Nope. We're getting snow tomorrow. Yep. A snow storm. Looks like the area where we live will be getting 4 feet of snow. That's almost a foot shorter than me! Gah.

Then I still have to clean out my car, pack the odds and ends laying around, get Soot's travel gear ready, wait for the truck to come, help pack the truck, have Rich's 70 something uncle come up from Florida to help Rich's half brother drive the moving truck (when he's not really necessary), plus have him come up to spend almost a week here. Now really there's nothing that* wrong with him but I call him (to myself of course) a "Charlie lover" (is it true that I can use Asian slurs because I'm Asian?)(As well as being derogatory toward "whites" because I married one?) (At the very least, these people are my 'family members' right? I can make fun of my family). Meaning, he likee the asian flavah. Meaning, even at 70 something I feel uncomfortable having him staring at me and trying to talk to me, it's all I can do from screaming "Beaucoup, Fifty Dolla Beaucoup!" then I might add "me love you long time!"

My cat needs to have her little claws cut. She's a crazy little bunch running around and around the house. As she runs or walks, for that matter, she has to keep retracting her claws so that it sounds as if she's ripping velcro off the carpet.

We're moving a week from tomorrow. dum dum dum! I gotta run. I'll catch y'all on the flip side.

Me.
*Well actually there's a lot wrong with him because, if you look to what he's spawned i.e. his family, as evidence, there's a lot wrong with them.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Southern Comfort

So you're probably wondering what we are doing to get ready for the move down south. Particularly to a red state, surrounded by other red states. Well I'll tell you anyway.

We've taken to watching the Blue Collar Tours on comedy central and practicing our southern accents. We follow one another all day long saying things like, "you may-uh be uh rednick..." and "dang ol' " and I like to say "Well, goo' lord!" and "lord, forgive me". I've also become fond of Paula Deen's show on Food Network. Rich and I say "awl" as in "put some of dat olive awl in the pa-yun". It's like taking a trip to Spain and learning the few Spanish catchphrases we can in a little amount of time.

Now don't get me wrong, like Spanish 'theys' alot of regional differences in the accents but we figured that just any southern accent will do. Sometimes I practice by myself and find that in one sentence I've clumped together a sweet Georgian drawl with a Virginny tidewater twang and finish it off with some Texan cowboy flair. We are so afraid of being stopped by some southern, gentlemanly officer of the law only to have him say to us: "I don't know how dey drive up der in uh-Massachusetts, but dow-un heer, in (fill in southern state), we rispict the speed limit." Lord forgive me.

I've also developed a liking for the southern foods... heh. Okay, I've always loved me some mashed taters, co-uwn bread, fried chickun, gravy, collard greens, jambalaya, pecan pie, biscuts with buttah, and fixin's. I've also started cooking tacos and chili more. No more cold-weather foods, such as apple pies and chicken potpies! Gimme sum of dat der ooey goodness. Ooowee. We're fixin to have ourselves a parteh. Tha's shur lookeen' mighty fine.

In addition, we've learned a few songs as well. I can sing you some songs like "Dixie" (Dixieland)... hmm, well let's just say they're songs from the Civil War period. I already love Alabama's "Sweet Home Alabama" and I enjoy the "pop" country stars like Faith Hill and Shania Twain. I looove bluegrass/bayou music. I've yet to develop a liking for Garth Brooks but don't worry, I'm working on it. I can sing you "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers. haha.

Oh I wish I was in Dixie.
Hooray.

Have a good week all!
Me.

P.S. Oh my god, Julie! I'm gonna die on Wednesday, February 7th 2085!! I'll be 105 years old!! Da-yum.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

The Origins Of Palm Sunday


It was one of those chilly mornings that constituted a New York spring. I was on the phone with Rich and alone upstairs in Mike's room. I was holding fresh Palm fronds that were passed out earlier in the day at Sunday Mass and while I spoke to him I was also weaving the fronds into the shape of a cross (the annual "replacing of the crosses"). The crosses made that day would eventually lose its water and dry into something that resembled the corn husks on an Mexican tamale. The crosses would be distributed throughout the house only to have the process repeated the next year.

So I had completed my share of crosses and still talking to Rich when I decided I would doodle while we talked. For some reason I need to busy other parts if my grey matter is intent upon a conversation. I was holding the pencil, sharpened to a vicious point (by me) and rumaging around looking for a piece of paper, when in my clumsiness? I dropped the pencil and fumbled with it.

I can see it in my mind as it tumbles end over end, in slow motion, as it finishes it's course, the rounded pink eraser smudged with black graphite, catches on Mike's dresser and the point at a frightening angle. Perfect slant to pierce my unsuspecting palm, breaking off at its flimsiest point, embedding itself into my weak flesh.

I was more surprised than hurt. I stood there looking at my palm and telling Rich what had happened. I think we even talked about it for a few minutes before I took a course of action. I think I might have tried to probe it out and had taken most of it away (the big piece) while the little pieces left traces.

So to this day I have a black dot buried beneath my palm where a pencilpoint has left a mark. Over the years it has been covered over with flesh and is now just one of those little indiosyncrasies that makes my body different from the next person.

But I thought it was strange that on Palm Sunday, the day that begins Holy Week, I should have something on my palm that left me a little holey as well.

I guess I know what they mean when they say "God works in mysterious ways". I'm still trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean.

Okay, I gotta go! Have a happy first day of Spring and a good Palm Sunday!

Me.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Smidgeons

Hey all! First off, tomorrow is the first day of Spring! Yay!

Second, I got the pictures Julie! Thanks soo much and happy belated birf-day to your dad! I've never been to Houston's but I'll have to try it, sound yummy. I loove steaks. I'm sending you a quick card with my Florida address enclosed!

Third, Mike I'm sending you something thru the mail, to your school. It's really really cool. heh. Okay, maybe not that cool but I felt bad that I don't send you enough stuff so there ya go.

Fourth, we only have one full week left and then a handful of days after that in this house. eh. I just want it over with. The biggest concern is the driving down especially with a cat who will be cooped up in a box in the back of the car. We had to buy a smaller litter box although I doubt that such a traumatic trip will encourage her to use the bathroom as we go upwards of 60 miles an hour. First "stop over" will be at the Pallisades Mall. Rich's parents will stop there while he and I take my car back home in Yonkers.

Fifth, I've been taking this time to say "adieu" to the familiar places close by. I spent a few mornings sitting in the car looking out the windshield at Nantasket Beach, where Rich and I spent the last dying days of summer together, in year 1. It was too cold to step out but all the old people did not seem to mind as their hoods and hair was whipped from their heads by the wind. I tried to go to the local park where we used to go jogging but they were fixing the road by it and I couldn't get through. Then we went over to UMass on St. Paddy's Day to find it empty, which was auspicious (hehe, I love that word). So we took our time whilst I walked it once more. There was a poor little bird that was stuck on the catwalk and we tried our very best to situate it where it could get out but only managed to chase it as far as the science building, where it flew into the "rafters" and settled there.

So that's what has been going on. Still haven't posted up my Igloo story yet. hmm. We'll see about that! Okee gotta go.

Me

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy St. Paddy's Day!


Hey all! Since I'm too lazy to post anything substantial about me life (said with an Irish lilt) I figured you'd gladly accept a link or two about the origin of St. Patrick's Day. So here ya go, ya lucky bastards!
Did you know that the first parade was held in New York? The first ever parade!! Don't believe me, click here.
Did you know that St. Patrick really didn't banish all the snakes out of Ireland? You don't? Well click here for more info!

And now I'll leave you all with this:

May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all the Irish angels,
Smile upon you on St. Patrick's day.

For more info on leprechauns, click here and here.

Oh and the joy of spring! Only three days til it is officially spring!! (March 20th at 7:33 in the morning, or so my local weather guy tells me).

Top o' the morning to ya,
Me.

Monday, March 14, 2005

'Missus' Mistakes

I have been driving Rich's car around. I tell myself that it's because I'm the "missus" now but really it's because I will be the one doing the bulk of the driving down to Florida and am familiarizing myself with driving it so that I'm at ease. 28 hours of driving needs getting used to. heh.

Well this morning, on my regular jaunt to the supermarket, I came out of the store and scanned the parking lot for the familiar contours of 'Puddles', my pristine white Corolla. (Her full name is Puddle Jumper so bequeathed by Rich's mom before she ever laid eyes upon her glorious magnificence). I stood there, literally for a full two minutes with the slow rising panic that comes at the thought that some maniac had stolen my precious Puddles.

Then I caught sight of a dirty, green Stratus, whose sides were embellished with the scars of kicked up salt and thought with opposing feelings (relief and sadness) that yes, I was driving Rich's car. I marched past the dirty green Stratus to his, somewhat cleaner, darker version. I have to get used to the idea that I wont be with my car for long and that she will be returning to the place from whence she came.

In addition, there are other things that I have to get used to as well. Like the idea that I will have familiarize myself with new routes and destinations, and most likely will be able to walk them instead of drive there. New places to go, new house address and zip code to remember, new phone number to learn, new people to meet and get annoyed with, new clothes (because I will be in shorts, most likely) new house, new bathroom, new set of keys, possibly new license, new paths, new experiences. I've done it all before... wait, so what's new again?

I'll be working on my 'Igloo' Short Short story. Will post it someday...

Be good.
Me.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

B.U.S.Y.
Being Under Satan's Yoke*

Yeah so we're "busy" in the process of packing, the deliberation, the attempt, the idea, the planning. So really I'm not doing much but waiting for tomorrow to come so that we can begin our real packing. What I've been really doing is nothing but picking the scab off of my finger. I've been taking in a lot of gin and sitting restlessly around the house, mostly in front of my computer.

I've written a short short which I should post sometime soon, once I get out of the grips of Satan, who keeps me in this mindless stupor so that I do not think of Jesus and his saving graces. I will also work on editing my book which should be sent out soon. Except my negative attitude keeps me from touching it since I am filled with the thought that I will only receive it back telling me that it's worthless and my oh-so-fragile ego shudders at the thought and resists any attempts my brain does to work on it. GAH!

I hate this waiting. I wish we were moving already. I still haven't learned that lesson of being cautious of what I wish for.

About 18 more days to go.

The actual countdown will occur with only 5 more days to go.

I'm more frazzled over this than my own marriage. So much so that I've missed a period. I was just telling Rich how strange my body works. I don't feel any stress but I must be feeling some since my body isn't cooperating. Ugh. You know you're putting me through too much and I'm really trying my best to be good. I wish you'd be more considerate of my feelings! I'm just a girl!

There! How's that for a post!
Me

* This was a email sent to me by my aunt. It was one of those forwards telling me how satan came up with this plan to keep our lives busied with material, meaningless things so that we don't think of Jesus.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

And The Winner Is...

Turns out that my husband would win in a fight with Mike Tyson... or so google tells me.
Black wins over white and turtle beats hare. Sweet huh? Guess who wins: fat and ugly or thin and sexy?

Here's another sweet link. Click it, unless you're chicken...

Tell the chicken what to do.
Do it! Chicken!

Nice out huh?

Me.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Toilet Gnomes
(Sock Gnomes Evil-er Cousin)

Yes, there are such things as Toilet Gnomes. They, unlike their annoying cousin, the sock gnomes, leave things behind rather than have it disappear, but they both serve the purpose of keeping it out of your reach, enough to make you go crazy.

For sock gnomes I have an amulet (what garlic is to vampires). Actually I have two things that keep me from being a victim. One, I know of their existence and they only work well when they are only thought of as "imaginary creatures" or as the liberals would call them "scapegoats". My second piece of protection is that I basically wear one pair of socks and wash them as needed. The s.g.'s are repulsed at my cleverness because they wreak the most havoc when there are so many socks that you cannot keep track of all of them... wait there's a third. The third repellent is to have a cat.

Well since the sock gnome cannot step one foot into our house, he has used all this time to devise a scheme that would cause much grief and humiliation to our duo. He called in his cousin, the toilet gnome. You see how perfect the scheme is? We are basically helpless because we have nothing to secure, everything we bring to the toilet is waste! They're using our waste against us! He also comes through the toilet, thus eliminating (no pun intended) any protection from the cat, although she did follow me into the bathroom and jumped onto the lid of the toilet. She knows something. And because toilet gnomes aren't well known Rich and I believe it's just rust and sediment.

But I'm onto your game! A little late though because he has come and gone.

It started maybe a few months ago. We noticed that there was this stuff at the bottom of the toilet that no amount of flushing could get rid of. So we took to cleaning it but the instruments for cleaning it could not reach the spot! So we left it. Then a few weeks later another spot appeared, this time at the opposite end! Still we accepted it after not being able to get rid of it. It seems that the evil gnome has placed it at that "dry" area or what I call the "eye of the toilet" where it is quiet and calm and no water can reach properly.

Well we have had some amount of humiliation because it's a brownish rusty color and if people were to use the toilet it looks... well you know.

But now here's the clincher. While we were in New York for a week it doubled! Imagine our surprise when we stepped into the bathroom to relieve ourselves and (I always check just in case) lifting the lid I find that now it's a "diamond" pattern at the bottom of the bowl!! No one used it for a week and it doubled! Not only doubled but made a pattern!

Alright, you clever gnomes, you got us! (Did I mention that this was the fifth way to repell them; to admit defeat. They hate that.) And by the way, it's very pretty. You must be an accomplished art gnome in your spare time (they hate when you compliment them too). Man, did you get us good! We bow to you!

(What they don't know is that Rich and I don't care anymore. We're leaving in 21 days. hehehe. Last laugh's on us.)

So take the necessary precautions and don't let this happen to you. If you have similar gnome stories, we'd love to hear from you.

Me.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Taking The Leap


I've been deciding whether it feels any different [that flow of words, that signing of a simple paper, the band of gold, the kiss that sealed it] that led to my current "state" but I don't think so. I wasn't expecting it to at all but I'm disappointed that it didn't surprise me.

Even though I'm only 24 I've been around enough to notice that life follows a pattern. An ebb and flow like the ocean, drawing or pushing you back. The pattern follows as I find myself at the beginning of something; eager and determined. Usually this is the time I am sucessful at everything I do, then this is followed by the proverbial resting on my laurels, then the final stage where I feel as if I've stayed too long I need to find something else. (I think that's why I loved college so much, because of the constant shifting into something new.) I've always suspected as a child that I would be one to travel around constantly.

I romantically imagine that if I were in one of those films that depicts Native Americans as almost psychic and attuned to a deeper level of 'earth'* I would be named "Wandering Mountain Lion" and described as fiercely independent and ever searching, as if my animal soul were looking for something, and to be caged up would only cause me to rot in stagnation as I pace my cage. Though those movies also say when one's animal were asleep then I could 'settle'. But what do they know?

Forgive the above paragraph. I haven't eaten.

What I really wanted to say is that I am looking forward to moving away from this. "This" is both physical and mental and they're tied together because I expect that once I step away from this physical place my mind will also be freed from the restraints. I guess that's what I was 'not-expecting' my marriage to surprise me with.

Forget that paragraph too. Same reason.

Okay I'll try to end it with this, then get something to munch on:
Eventually it has become just another place to escape from, a place where I had stayed too long, a place full of memories but whose magic had inevitably worn off.

I feel the tug, the ebb of the next tide pulling at me and standing here at the very edge of the sand, sinking as the water pulls at my ankles, I am taking a deep breath and am ready to leap in.

Me.

*I'm not familiar with Native American culture and that statement was not meant to be disrespectful in anyway to their culture. I am only going by what I've seen in movies and what non N.A. depictions have been.

P.S. I saw "Gattaca" again the other day, probably the main influence for what I've written.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Wedding Party Highlights

This is for posterity...

I can't believe that my cousin, Mae, drove 5 hours just to spend a few hours with me and my family before driving back to Maine because she had work that next morning. (It was much appreciated.)

I can't believe that our toilet/sewer pipe got clogged up so badly that it started disgorging it's contents, not only of what had been in its bowl but that of all the sinks and showers of the house. I think I caught sight of pieces of broccoli floating past.

I can't believe that one night's fee for a hotel room at the Royal Regency Hotel cost $150.

I can't believe how much food, drinks and heat people celebrating can expend.

I can't believe that my brother cried while giving a toast to me, which of course caused me to tear up. Geek.

I can't believe my parents couldn't say a few nice words about me at my own wedding. Then tried to pass if off to everyone else.

In addition, I couldn't believe no one else said anything to us...

Rich and I discussed it later (on our four hour drive back to Massachussetts) and realized that we both had thought of the same thing but we never spoke up. We both were going to ask those who had a successful marriage to come up and share a few pointers with us on how they keep it working so well. (Don't worry, you'll get a second chance...)

I can't believe how good ube cake tastes, especially being forked into my mouth by my husband. heh.

I can't believe Julie caught the bouquet... hmm, do I hear wedding bells in the future?

I can't believe that I will miss you all more than I can say, but I was reminded by Rich that's it's actually only 3 hours from New York to Florida (unlike the 4 hours from Boston to NY), and $69 on Jet Blue, so don't hesitate to come down and spend a few days with me in Disney, or just be my neighbor...

I'm going now to post up the speech I said just before cutting the cake. I really made up 3/4 of that speech that morning in bed. I woke up to it there waiting for me and just a few editorial snips and cuts, additions and switches and I had it to my liking. The fourth part of the speech had been brewing for a few years and had been perfected a while ago. No need to read it if you were there, with the exception of an addition (that would have been said if someone's mother had been there...) it was exactly* how I said it.

"I just want to say a few words before we cut the cake. First off, I'd like to thank the various members of my family, thanks to my brother (for being there). I want to say 'thanks' to my dad and my mom. Thanks for your support, thanks for your love and thanks for your money. Without those three, this wouldn't have been possible.
I wish Aunty Marlette was here because I would like to thank her and Aunty Susie for being witnesses to my wedding. I have always considered you both my 2nd moms, from giving me advice on what kind of man to marry to making me my favorite dishes. Your presence there made it very special.
Now I'd like to thank you all for coming tonight. Many of you I've known since I was four, and many of you I've only met tonight, at 24, and I've learned to call you my 'Titos and Titas' or Aunties and Uncles and although we don't share the same blood I consider you all my family.
Last but not least, I'd like to say 'Thank you' to my husband, Rich. When I was a little girl I used to pray to God to help me find the perfect husband. I'd say, 'God, I don't care if he's funny. I don't care if he's smart. I don't care if he's kind. God, all I want is a man who's wealthy.' And when I met him he said to me, 'Hi, I'm rich' and I said to myself 'yes!!' but it turned out that that was just his name and he didn't have any money at all. Then I realized that he was funny, and smart, and he was kind and because of him I am the wealthiest woman in the world."
Followed by 'kiss, kiss, kiss' from the crowd. Perverts.

Then the mic was passed to Rich who replied "thank you. Thank you Michelle" which was greeted with laughter.

Mike was given the mic after my parents resisted all offers and bad thoughts coming from me. Mike said the following:
"I just want to say congratulations to Rich and Michelle (to which I gently scolded saying "It's 'Ate'"). Congratulations to Ate and Ate Rich (followed by laughter and people correcting him that it was 'Cuya' but we knew he was joking.) I've known about this for a while (then he got choked up which of course got me crying) but I never expected that it would hit me so hard." (Followed by an "Awwwww" from the crowd and Mike's looking for tissue and so am I, then dad says "don't cry mom" which gets everyone laughing).

Then the party commenced, lots of eating, dancing, etc.

Rich and I laughingly fell asleep to a chorus of little girls sitting in my living room, playing their game that I call "crescendo" in which each one successively emits a high pitched yelp, gradually becoming a higher pitch, so that dogs in a ten mile radius raised their heads and howled. That's how I always imagined my wedding to end. Forget fireworks.

Night night all. I'll be posting regular posts again. No more wedding jabber.
Have a great rest of the week.

Me.

*Well not 'exactly' because I didn't write the pauses and sniffles when I got choked up while I said it.

Snack Food Is The Way To Go

Turns out that I am a cheese puff, whilst Rich, a fried fruit pie, was advised not to marry my kind. Whadda they know? It all comes out in the end.

Me.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Wedding Day Highlights

"I'm A Womans' Man, No Time To Talk"
Dressed to the nines in my John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" sans black shirt, we were off to be wed. We were followed by Aunty Marlette with Julie at the wheel (a very pleasant surprise to have her there with us) and Aunty Susie, driven by Uncle Jesse, happened to appear behind them just as we neared White Plains.

"And Beholdeth a House Shall Appear Before Thee"
Because we had been driving through buildings, we were surprised to find that in turning the corner there were only two acutal houses on that street and one was our destination.

"Still Holden On"
As we parked in the convenient, municipal parking lot, I was worried that the house whose address we were given had a sign that had the names of four generations of Holdens and not one name belonging to our judge. But when we entered the house a woman (the one I spoke to on the phone. I recognized her voice) greeted us and asked if we were all there for the wedding, which put me at ease (any wedding is fine).

"We don't do that here"
After we answered the wedding question, she posed another question: "Who's the bride?" to which I raised my hand and said "I am", proudly and happily. Then she said "Who is the groom?" to which I happily and proudly responded "He is" and pointed to my right, where Julie was standing (I thought Rich was behind me but he was busy holding the door). Then we all laughed it up, the absurdity of my marrying Julienne was just too much. Then the woman responded "we don't do that here." i.e. marry two women.

"While This Was All Going On..."
Uncle Jesse somehow managed to get lost in the thirty feet between the parking lot and the house. Something about a broken meter, the details are sketchy. All I know is that he called telling us that he was in White Plains. huh? How do you park the car, watch us cross the street to the house and then get lost? When he finally did arrive it was in the middle of the opening speech of the judge.

"Can You Make Change?"
Well Dad had given the assistant $80 because we did not have the exact change ($75) but she didn't have change. Luckily we were spared the grief when the judge had five dollars. They couldn't accept the $5 extra (probably for accounting reasons).

"Master of Ceremony"
Then the judge began his speech. It was casual and intimate. All I remember is looking right into his eyes and nodding my head. He may have married us or just taken all of my savings from my bank account. One of the things he said before we really began was:"Can you understand English?" followed by a dirty look from me.
...and...
"Speak now or forever hold your peace" and aside to Rich "This is your last chance" followed by a dirty look from me.

"Three fourths cornerstone of a successful marriage"
Then the judge told us the secret of a successful marriage relied on the four cornerstones which he was about to bestow upon us. Unfortunately, neither of us were listening, just nodding and staring deeply into his eyes, so we came away with only three fourths of the puzzle. We suspect that the fourth is ingesting plenty of fiber.

"Pop quiz"
If you were wondering what the other three cornerstones of a successful marriage were, well so were we. He began his little speech with a pop quiz. "There is a miracle that occurred here, does anyone know what this miracle is?" followed by blank stares and nodding from Rich and I, "anybody? anybody at all?" then Mom shouted out the answer after a brief and uncomfortable pause, "Love!! Amore!" followed by giggles from the crowd. (The other two were 'consideration' and 'communication' to which he gave examples.)

He also added that it was a miracle that Rich and I found one another, after seeing where we each came from (I from the Philippines, he from Massachusetts).

"Question and Answer"
Then came the interactive part of the ceremony where he asked each of us in turn, "Do you take her/him to be your wife/husband? Rich after a comedic pause (just enough time for me to glance anxiously at his direction... hoping he'd answer the question) said, "Yes, I do" after a quip from the judge "I was getting worried there" and laughter from the crowd. I answered "I do" breathlessly just because I couldn't seem to make the words come out any louder than a whisper.

"With this ring, I marry you"
After that prior event the judge then asked if we were giving one another rings. Rich then took my hand, after I slipped my engagement ring off, and slipped on my wedding ring, saying "With this ring, I marry you" and vice versa.

"Take my breath away"
The judge then said to us "If you are not too shy, then you can give eachother a kiss" to which I quickly pecked Rich on the lips and the moment was missed by all, even the groom.

"Off To Thailand"
We went to the restaurant where we had celebrated Mike's graduation, Bangkok Thai Restaurant. It was a tiny, two-table wide room. No other patrons were in the restaurant and as we sat there talking they put up the "Closed" signs, they were about to have lunch themselves.

Thank you all for being there on such a special day. This is a documentation of our wedding day because everyone I've spoken to (just two couples) have forgotten the details and I didn't want to have to look at my daughter(s) blankly when she asked how ours went. Or I could just make it up... I'm pretty good at that.

Remember when Uncle Jesse choked on his shrimp and the woman rushed over to do the Heimlich maneuver on him?
See? Just made that up.

Oh and I'd like to end by saying that the judge made it a point not to say "honor and obey your husband" because men and women were equal and also that he'd be chased out of White Plains for saying it. heehee.

Okay. Thanks for that everyone. Those of you who weren't physically there, you were in our thoughts.
Me.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."

In exactly two hours and twenty minutes I will be standing in front of a judge and declaring my intent to wed a man. It seems so out of body-esque. I feel as if I were watching it all progress from so far away. This morning we traveled up to Queens and ordered a "wedding cake" from a little Filipino bakery. We also had breakfast. I think I was more excited over getting tocino than looking over the wedding cake pictures and choosing which design I wanted.

On the way I told my mom not to cry at the wedding and she exclaimed, "cry? Why should I cry? I will be laughing and saying 'finally she is out of my hands!'" She's just so sweet.

Please forgive the above quote. I should end it a tad romantically, if not nicely. I am on PMS and even my wedding cannot break the vicious, skepticism it brings. But I shall try my best to keep it up though I am in the mood for throwing things and crying as if my heart has broken.

Today I feel as if I am in the midst of a page being turned and I am anxious to see what lays beyond and anxious that I may forget what had come before.

Here's and end quote, wish me luck, congratulations etc. etc. etc. and forward my presents to the address below.

"We sat side by side in the morning light and looked out at the future together." Brian Andres

The former Ms. Michelle Hellegood.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

License and Sponsors

Yesterday Rich and I scooted over to White Plains City Clerks' Office to get our marriage license. Luckily I had found their website about a week ago and also called them and so I knew what it was that they wanted from us... as in forms of identification. Now if we had done this in the boroughs all they ask of you is your driver's license and birth certificate but in 'picky' White Plains, when I called they asked if I was born here in the good ole u.s. of a., when I answered in the negative I was told that I needed either my passport or my naturalization certificate. I have somehow managed to misplace my passport and had to ask my parents for the n.c.

So off we trudged. We parked at the Galleria and walk about 5 minutes to the building. It was grey and overcast, threatening to send snow in our direction at any minute. We crossed the lanes of traffic and found ourselves in a quieter area on main street, where the roads happen to diverge. A quick little step more and we were right in front of this building that looked like a school. We stepped in and found ourselves in a high ceiling entrance with a staircase before us and many doors to the left and right of us.

"Where do we go?" Rich asked.
"Hmm, that's the one thing I forgot to ask," I mumbled. I led him to a little board on the wall that told us the names and various offices that were held within the building.
We would have stayed there all day had not a woman come out a few seconds after we came in and asked if she may help us. I then turned and gave her my sweetest, endearing little smile, and in my wide-eyed innocent voice (the one Mike makes fun of me of) said, "yes can you tell me where we can get a marriage license?"
"Sure, it's that office right over there," and she pointed to a middle door to our left. The one that said:
City Clerk Office:
Marriage, Birth, Death Licenses
Animal Licenses

And so we step in and are helped by this lovely woman who barely says anything to us except "sign here and here" and "That'll be $40" and "thank you".
So I had to force a few names outta her, which she gave begrudgingly, but since I was holding her daughter hostage... wait different story.
We asked her for the names of a couple of judges that were able to do the ceremony (since they don't perform them there) and she wrote down two names.

Well we drove home. We decided to have some pizza but before that I called the first judge on the list. That's when I was acquainted with the fact that judges are also practicing attorneys. I had forgotten that fact. I was surprised to hear, "Bender, Bender, Smith and Bender, how may I help you?"
"Umm... uhh, marriage license?"
"He's in court, here's his voicemail".
"Oh, uh, voicemail?" crap "Hello, this is Michelle Hellegood. I'm wondering if I can make an appointment for a marriage ceremony? If you could give me a call at my # that would be great. Please call me anytime this afternoon."

Then I said, "hey let's get the pizza now" and so we drove off to "Catanias" (which happened to come in last place in our ultimate pizza challenge) but we really couldn't get anywhere else and Catania's looked busy so we prefer busy over non-busy (which means that no one's buying the pizza) but whilst waiting the 20 minutes it takes to make a pizza I saw that I had missed a message from someone and I wasn't sure if that was the judge. d-oh

"Didn't we decide to call after we bought the pizza" Rich asked.
"Yep, but then we called and I got hungry and well, you forgot too." Lovely. We're all discumbobulated. Is that how you spell that?

Anywho, to make and all ready long story somewhat shorter, I called the other judge who had a very nice (i mean it this time) receptionist/secretary who booked me for Wednesday at 2 p.m.
"This is our address. We are in a house." Ah! Lovely, it'll be intimate. "The fee is $75" oh. Can't people just make it their "civi" duty to marry you without any fees? Whatever.

Later that evening I called Julie's mom to ask if she'll be my "sponsor" (mom's term) (my witness) she said "of course" and I tried to call Aunty Susie too but her husband answered and I'm not sure he understood what I said, so I told him I'd call back tomorrow. Blah blah blah.

Here I am typing away. Okee, it's snowing it up and I gotta go catch up on blogs I missed. See you all soon. I'm getting married tomorrow and I think I'm breaking out in hives. hmm. Niicce.

Me.