And He Didn't Even Shave His Belly Hair


I get ansy around 4 pm on Halloween, watching, waiting, anticipating that there might be early candy enthusiasts, settling in for a long 4 hours of hunting. I get afraid when it gets to 6 pm and no one has come to the door. Then, timidly, around 6:30 a hesitant ring at my door and there stood a lone boy of about 5, dressed in some netherworld fashion, yelling for treats or else... and with a "thanks" he opened the flood gates...

to ninety (90)!!! others. I got little boys and little girls, big boys and big girls. I got moms and dads and yes, even grandmothers with curlers and a robe. I had girls dressed as boys and men dressed as girls. And there was a tense ten minutes where we ran out of candy and had to give out our secret stash of Dove chocolate bars!!!

It was pandemonium!! It died down around 8:15 with an estimated 5-6 bags of candy given.

I was kinder to the little ones, giving them three and once five pieces but for the adults and the rude children (the ones that ring the doorbell more than twice) only one piece!!

"Here we are children!!! come and get your lollipops!!... ice-cream, chocolate... all freeeeeee today!"

The stats...? well more girls to boys, about 51 girls to 40 boys. The breakdown of races, about 60% caucasians, 35% latinos and 5% other. One being a brown little asian girl whose eyes got big and wide when she saw me. She went so far as to pull her "white" mother over and point to me. She stood on my lawn staring and staring at me until her mother called her to "come!"

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

So begins our holidays. Please don't eat the candy that isn't securely wrapped and make sure your mom or dad (or other responsible adult) checks your candy.

See youse guys.

Me.

P.S. I was a cuddly, pajama with feet, clad person ready for bed. My costume included a teddy bear and sleep mask. I was going to be a New Yorker in October.