Angry People Hurt Their Hearts
I HATE. HATE. HATE. angry people. I know that by saying this I am being sort of hypocritical because hate is anger, but they make me hateful.
Why would you yell at someone? Yelling makes me shut down and not want to help you. I'd rather just punch you in a vulnerable spot and kick you while you're rolling around, instead of smiling and directing you and wishing you all good intentions. Anger stresses everyone out, so why do it? And because I will not yell back or hit or walk off I tend to hold it in and then probably stress myself out even more and later, at a convenient time will cry it out.
I HATE crying. I think it is weakness and frustration at not being able to physically harm someone. The natural reaction to anger is aggression but due to certain circumstances aggression is not the way to go, just in a self preservation standpoint but also probably in a legal standpoint.
So what do I do? I breathe, count, draw, pace and see it humorously. Then I wish them nothing but ill will and pray that God gives them nothing but a cruddy life. Then I take it all back knowing that it's just bad karma to do so, so I just figure they already have bad lives and that's why they are angry.
I still imagine bashing in their heads. I need a safety spot.
Me.
P.S. This post is not about Rich. He is not an angry person.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Michelle's Not So Scary
When I was younger, New York's WPIX, which was just plain old channel 11, used to play a scary movie every night in October leading up to Halloween. It was called "Shocktober" and it was way better than Octoberfest. Every night I would watch the first 30 minutes of American Werewolf In Paris, Gremlins, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween and Friday the 13th. Then I'd have to go to my room for bedtime. It was great because they had station edits and so it wasn't so foul-mouthed or gory but it creeped me out big time.
Now we don't have anything of that sort but the travel channel likes to spook people out with Englishmen holding seances and going down dark paths all in infrared. What scares me the most are their inverted green eyes and their gaunt faces.
I like a good scare once in a while but I am never brave enough to do it in the dark anymore. Now I am covered in sheets in the middle of the day, fast forwarding through the really scary parts.
Wimp.
Halloween is my second favorite 'holiday' after Festivus.
Me.
When I was younger, New York's WPIX, which was just plain old channel 11, used to play a scary movie every night in October leading up to Halloween. It was called "Shocktober" and it was way better than Octoberfest. Every night I would watch the first 30 minutes of American Werewolf In Paris, Gremlins, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween and Friday the 13th. Then I'd have to go to my room for bedtime. It was great because they had station edits and so it wasn't so foul-mouthed or gory but it creeped me out big time.
Now we don't have anything of that sort but the travel channel likes to spook people out with Englishmen holding seances and going down dark paths all in infrared. What scares me the most are their inverted green eyes and their gaunt faces.
I like a good scare once in a while but I am never brave enough to do it in the dark anymore. Now I am covered in sheets in the middle of the day, fast forwarding through the really scary parts.
Wimp.
Halloween is my second favorite 'holiday' after Festivus.
Me.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Michelle, The Employee
I work at the airport. I hate it. Everyday is like a little death.
I take it back. I used to hate it, it used to feel like a little death everyday. Then I found out my fat is a good floatation device, so instead of being submerged in the sea of tedium and menialness, I am bobbing around making new friends, disliking a whole bunch of new people and exploring my surroundings. My bouyancy always surprises me.
The airport seems huge at first but it's really quite small. Only one real level of openness and space. There are a few floors of exploration and it helps to have a hotel there as well. Sometimes I ride up and down on the glass enclosed elevators and watch the busy people running around, or sleeping on benches, or greeting their loved ones waiting for them on the other side.
This job gives one a great sense of being a fly on the wall and I sometimes think that I am truly invisible.
So what will you be for Halloween?
Me.
I work at the airport. I hate it. Everyday is like a little death.
I take it back. I used to hate it, it used to feel like a little death everyday. Then I found out my fat is a good floatation device, so instead of being submerged in the sea of tedium and menialness, I am bobbing around making new friends, disliking a whole bunch of new people and exploring my surroundings. My bouyancy always surprises me.
The airport seems huge at first but it's really quite small. Only one real level of openness and space. There are a few floors of exploration and it helps to have a hotel there as well. Sometimes I ride up and down on the glass enclosed elevators and watch the busy people running around, or sleeping on benches, or greeting their loved ones waiting for them on the other side.
This job gives one a great sense of being a fly on the wall and I sometimes think that I am truly invisible.
So what will you be for Halloween?
Me.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Belated
Whoa, it's been ten days since my birthday. A big thank you to all who sent me wishes and greetings and thoughts!
Since I had to work, my actual birthday was quiet and uneventful. Prior to my birthday I went out to two restaurants. One with the in-laws and the other with the reason why I even have in-laws. Those were good. After my actual birthdate, I received presents and cards and I think I won Mike's "ipod debacle" and now am in possession of a 60 GB ipod with video screen. I am totally in like with it. I bought it a sleek skin so that I may wear it strapped on my arm as I go to use the gym equipment. ipods cause deafness. I am not deaf yet. Although I did receive an off-handed song of happy birthday from my mother, left on my cellphone messages. She's too funny.
Onto other things.
The other day (yesterday) whilst at the supermarket (duh) I observed a child eating one of those vanilla wafers, no not Nilla Wafers, but those rectangular, crispy wafers, filled with vanilla cream in the middle. The child, a male of the species, ate it how I would eat it, carefully lifting the top layer off with his top teeth, taking a small bite and then waiting til it melted in his mouth before giving an off-handed chew and swallowing, continuing the process with the next layer. The top layer was always my favorite. Now why is that? I thought and thought about it and I came up with the conclusion that it reminds me of the Host. The body of Christ wafer that you march solemnly up to the altar for, holding your hands cupped before you, as the priest placed it into your palm, said what it is he says and then you say "Amen" and do the sign of the cross. Hands must be left hand atop of right so that right will be the hand that then sweeps from underneath, removes the wafer from the left and deposits it into mouth. I also do the same with KitKat bars.
Is it odd and sacrilegious to relate eating a vanilla wafer to having the Body of Christ in one's mouth?
Happy Birthday to Me.
P.S. Does anyone know or remember what it is the priest whispers as he places the bit in your mouth?
P.P.S. They use to place those in your mouth and not your hands because it would be almost gross to have such lowly people touching the body of Christ. Those old ladies at Church still have that done.
Whoa, it's been ten days since my birthday. A big thank you to all who sent me wishes and greetings and thoughts!
Since I had to work, my actual birthday was quiet and uneventful. Prior to my birthday I went out to two restaurants. One with the in-laws and the other with the reason why I even have in-laws. Those were good. After my actual birthdate, I received presents and cards and I think I won Mike's "ipod debacle" and now am in possession of a 60 GB ipod with video screen. I am totally in like with it. I bought it a sleek skin so that I may wear it strapped on my arm as I go to use the gym equipment. ipods cause deafness. I am not deaf yet. Although I did receive an off-handed song of happy birthday from my mother, left on my cellphone messages. She's too funny.
Onto other things.
The other day (yesterday) whilst at the supermarket (duh) I observed a child eating one of those vanilla wafers, no not Nilla Wafers, but those rectangular, crispy wafers, filled with vanilla cream in the middle. The child, a male of the species, ate it how I would eat it, carefully lifting the top layer off with his top teeth, taking a small bite and then waiting til it melted in his mouth before giving an off-handed chew and swallowing, continuing the process with the next layer. The top layer was always my favorite. Now why is that? I thought and thought about it and I came up with the conclusion that it reminds me of the Host. The body of Christ wafer that you march solemnly up to the altar for, holding your hands cupped before you, as the priest placed it into your palm, said what it is he says and then you say "Amen" and do the sign of the cross. Hands must be left hand atop of right so that right will be the hand that then sweeps from underneath, removes the wafer from the left and deposits it into mouth. I also do the same with KitKat bars.
Is it odd and sacrilegious to relate eating a vanilla wafer to having the Body of Christ in one's mouth?
Happy Birthday to Me.
P.S. Does anyone know or remember what it is the priest whispers as he places the bit in your mouth?
P.P.S. They use to place those in your mouth and not your hands because it would be almost gross to have such lowly people touching the body of Christ. Those old ladies at Church still have that done.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
And I'm Proud To Be An American...
On Saturday I decided that I needed to go to the Victoria's Secret Body Shop at the nearby mall and pick up more of my favorite lotion. I like to go, as with grocery shopping, bright and early, so as soon as the mall opened I was there. I always feel so odd going into Victoria's Secret, especially when their store is both the lotions and lingerie store, however, my mall deemed it worthy to break it up into two so I didn't need to look as if I were buying lingerie for that special mate, or myself, though the state of my undergarments are not to be desired, but that's for another day... ooh, nice long rambling sentence.
In the store I dab this and that on my hands, trying to look as if I'm interested or undecided on what to buy, even though we all know I know exactly what I want. I'd rather that they had the bottles where you opened them and sniffed instead of attaching a lotion pump so that I'm forced to pump it into my hands. The little signs say 'play with me' on the bottles. Cute. Anyway, after a few minutes I snatch up the body butter, instead of the lotion, because it looked as if it would make my skin more buttery (bad mistake, by the way, but it's all in the smell, it actually does make me feel more buttery) and walked out of the store smelling like a thousand fields of Heaven, Lavender, Pink Buttercream Frosting, Strawberries and Cream, and Lust.
I walked around the mall and a big banner caught my eye, it was from Auntie Anne's pretzel kiosk. They were giving away free pretzels from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. I've never had an A. A. pretzel before and was tempted to get a nice cinnamon one but I felt that 10 o'clock in the morning was not appropriate time for cinnamon pretzel eating. However, I did approach the counter and asked if they were insane, or words to that effect. They replied that it was just a promotional thing they were doing. So I rushed out of the mall so that I could drive home to tell Soobee.
Walking to the car I looked around and saw three beautiful boxer dogs running on the strip of grassy ditch that separated the mall from the highway. They were too far away to see if they had any tags on. One dog was in the lead, running and running, but the middle one stopped and was looking around in the grass, which caused the third one to stop and look around as well. The lead dog turned to check if they caught up and realized that they had stopped, so he/she turned and went back to the others. They then muddled around conferencing and I think the middle one pointed out the nice shrubbery in the ditch, just before the fence, and all three of them made their way into it. Now they were in the ditch so I couldn't see them any longer, so I got into the car and drove closer to the ditch, and saw all three of them huddled under the shrubs resting or hiding. I then drove home.
We never got the pretzels.
Me.
On Saturday I decided that I needed to go to the Victoria's Secret Body Shop at the nearby mall and pick up more of my favorite lotion. I like to go, as with grocery shopping, bright and early, so as soon as the mall opened I was there. I always feel so odd going into Victoria's Secret, especially when their store is both the lotions and lingerie store, however, my mall deemed it worthy to break it up into two so I didn't need to look as if I were buying lingerie for that special mate, or myself, though the state of my undergarments are not to be desired, but that's for another day... ooh, nice long rambling sentence.
In the store I dab this and that on my hands, trying to look as if I'm interested or undecided on what to buy, even though we all know I know exactly what I want. I'd rather that they had the bottles where you opened them and sniffed instead of attaching a lotion pump so that I'm forced to pump it into my hands. The little signs say 'play with me' on the bottles. Cute. Anyway, after a few minutes I snatch up the body butter, instead of the lotion, because it looked as if it would make my skin more buttery (bad mistake, by the way, but it's all in the smell, it actually does make me feel more buttery) and walked out of the store smelling like a thousand fields of Heaven, Lavender, Pink Buttercream Frosting, Strawberries and Cream, and Lust.
I walked around the mall and a big banner caught my eye, it was from Auntie Anne's pretzel kiosk. They were giving away free pretzels from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. I've never had an A. A. pretzel before and was tempted to get a nice cinnamon one but I felt that 10 o'clock in the morning was not appropriate time for cinnamon pretzel eating. However, I did approach the counter and asked if they were insane, or words to that effect. They replied that it was just a promotional thing they were doing. So I rushed out of the mall so that I could drive home to tell Soobee.
Walking to the car I looked around and saw three beautiful boxer dogs running on the strip of grassy ditch that separated the mall from the highway. They were too far away to see if they had any tags on. One dog was in the lead, running and running, but the middle one stopped and was looking around in the grass, which caused the third one to stop and look around as well. The lead dog turned to check if they caught up and realized that they had stopped, so he/she turned and went back to the others. They then muddled around conferencing and I think the middle one pointed out the nice shrubbery in the ditch, just before the fence, and all three of them made their way into it. Now they were in the ditch so I couldn't see them any longer, so I got into the car and drove closer to the ditch, and saw all three of them huddled under the shrubs resting or hiding. I then drove home.
We never got the pretzels.
Me.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
When the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
Today, as I was going for my daily drive around the neighborhood, I realized that the older I get the more afraid I am of doing things, the closer mortality seems.
I wonder if the closer I get towards death in age will I not feel scared of dying, in fact coming face to face will I be brave and embrace it like a long lost friend? As if I could cash in the years of dread for that single moment or gradual acceptance and anticipation of what is to come.
I was driving, safely, just at the speed limit, not minding that someone passed me and thought that at sixteen I was so far from death that I never even thought of it, I would speed down a boulevard, passing all the over-20-year-olds, laughing and singing at the top of my lungs, swerving this way and that.
Now the danger in things jump out at me and I try to be careful when I drive, softly cursing people who could endanger this vessel that should keep me for another 50+ years.
I'm feeling the birthday blues and have lived too long with people who worry too much.
Me.
Today, as I was going for my daily drive around the neighborhood, I realized that the older I get the more afraid I am of doing things, the closer mortality seems.
I wonder if the closer I get towards death in age will I not feel scared of dying, in fact coming face to face will I be brave and embrace it like a long lost friend? As if I could cash in the years of dread for that single moment or gradual acceptance and anticipation of what is to come.
I was driving, safely, just at the speed limit, not minding that someone passed me and thought that at sixteen I was so far from death that I never even thought of it, I would speed down a boulevard, passing all the over-20-year-olds, laughing and singing at the top of my lungs, swerving this way and that.
Now the danger in things jump out at me and I try to be careful when I drive, softly cursing people who could endanger this vessel that should keep me for another 50+ years.
I'm feeling the birthday blues and have lived too long with people who worry too much.
Me.
