Saturday, October 28, 2006

Angry People Hurt Their Hearts

I HATE. HATE. HATE. angry people. I know that by saying this I am being sort of hypocritical because hate is anger, but they make me hateful.

Why would you yell at someone? Yelling makes me shut down and not want to help you. I'd rather just punch you in a vulnerable spot and kick you while you're rolling around, instead of smiling and directing you and wishing you all good intentions. Anger stresses everyone out, so why do it? And because I will not yell back or hit or walk off I tend to hold it in and then probably stress myself out even more and later, at a convenient time will cry it out.

I HATE crying. I think it is weakness and frustration at not being able to physically harm someone. The natural reaction to anger is aggression but due to certain circumstances aggression is not the way to go, just in a self preservation standpoint but also probably in a legal standpoint.

So what do I do? I breathe, count, draw, pace and see it humorously. Then I wish them nothing but ill will and pray that God gives them nothing but a cruddy life. Then I take it all back knowing that it's just bad karma to do so, so I just figure they already have bad lives and that's why they are angry.

I still imagine bashing in their heads. I need a safety spot.


Me.

P.S. This post is not about Rich. He is not an angry person.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Michelle's Not So Scary

When I was younger, New York's WPIX, which was just plain old channel 11, used to play a scary movie every night in October leading up to Halloween. It was called "Shocktober" and it was way better than Octoberfest. Every night I would watch the first 30 minutes of American Werewolf In Paris, Gremlins, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween and Friday the 13th. Then I'd have to go to my room for bedtime. It was great because they had station edits and so it wasn't so foul-mouthed or gory but it creeped me out big time.

Now we don't have anything of that sort but the travel channel likes to spook people out with Englishmen holding seances and going down dark paths all in infrared. What scares me the most are their inverted green eyes and their gaunt faces.

I like a good scare once in a while but I am never brave enough to do it in the dark anymore. Now I am covered in sheets in the middle of the day, fast forwarding through the really scary parts.

Wimp.

Halloween is my second favorite 'holiday' after Festivus.

Me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Michelle, The Employee

I work at the airport. I hate it. Everyday is like a little death.

I take it back. I used to hate it, it used to feel like a little death everyday. Then I found out my fat is a good floatation device, so instead of being submerged in the sea of tedium and menialness, I am bobbing around making new friends, disliking a whole bunch of new people and exploring my surroundings. My bouyancy always surprises me.

The airport seems huge at first but it's really quite small. Only one real level of openness and space. There are a few floors of exploration and it helps to have a hotel there as well. Sometimes I ride up and down on the glass enclosed elevators and watch the busy people running around, or sleeping on benches, or greeting their loved ones waiting for them on the other side.

This job gives one a great sense of being a fly on the wall and I sometimes think that I am truly invisible.

So what will you be for Halloween?

Me.