And They're Off!

After I change the litter, pack and shower of course. And anytime Rich decides to get out of bed. Yay! I'm so excited! I'll see all of you soon... except the ones who can't make it and those I know only through the internet.

Have a great, peaceful, loving week. Partay at my house on Saturday!! wooo.

Me.

I Now Pronounce You Husband and Wifey

Cut to Rich and I practicing in front of the hall mirror with our newly acquired wedding bands. Man we're heading home earlier than anticipated because of the weather and I'm having giggle fits from nervousness. Weird, I'm not nervous about getting married, just nervous in general. I guess because I have to drive with a scaredy cat in tow, and Soot. heh. Just kidding. Also the fact that we made the decision to go Sunday today, with one full day to get ready, has me scrambling to get everything. I'm slightly perturbed that I cannot find my camera battery charger. Ughhh.

I'm also upset that I cannot get my "Blushing Bride" template up. Damn you! Don't you know I'm a Mac user and not intelligent at HTML. Everything's so user friendly when it's made by Mac-heads. ugh. I'll just have to try a different template. Some happy, springy, thing or what not.

Gah! Where are my socks??? Not those! The one with the toes!!??


See y'all soon. I'll blog in NY too.
Me.

Secret Wishes or Wishcraft

When I was in high school I held onto a very powerful secret. The only other person who knew about it was my best friend, A.L. In actuality she was the one who found it first and made me realize it.

I had a superpower.

I figured it came from mutant genes, stemming from a long line of witches (on my mother's side)... although now as I write this I think perhaps there may be some on dad's side as well, that made it so strong in me. I had had some inklings of it from childhood but it never culminated into much except a chance to spook myself and others once in a while.

When I finally realized it, I thought "aha! Here it is making it's appearance finally. I've been wondering if it would develop into anything." Then I thought, "of course it would come out now during this time in my life when superpowers would seem 'normal' and accepted." (High school was a rough time in some aspects).

How it ever came about...
I was talking to my best friend and I happened to say to her, "I get whatever it is I wish for." She said, "seems like it." We were talking about grades and apparently I can do very well on exams without ever having to open a book, listen to the teacher (except for evil Liddell, my arch-nemisis, but I'm getting too ahead of myself) or do the work. She said, "how do you do it?" and my reply, "I wish for it".
"Whaddya mean 'wish for it'?"
"I just go 'hmm, I wish I get a 96 on the exam' and I get a 96 on the exam."
"Can you do it with other things?"
"Sure I can."

This is where we went through testing my powers.
She said, "how about wishing that S.N. gets hurt in gym today,"
"Uhh, I dunno. I'd feel really bad if she got seriously injured" (alright I didn't say that. What I actually said "I wish S.N. gets hurt in gym today!")

So A.L. and I watched in gym as S.N. got zonked on the head, then face, by a volleyball coming her way. She was totally humiliated. I think she might've chipped a nail too.

Then there was
"Wish that we had some powerful secret over the dean."
"Done!"

One day I had a convenient nosebleed that just wouldn't stop so the teacher asked A.L. to accompany me to the nurse's rest room (budget cuts couldn't provide us with a nurse, so all we had was a cot in some quiet room, that also had some bandages, alcohol and cotton balls). So I was sitting in there with A.L. having a chat when the door opens to the sight of a giggling dean and the driving instructor stopping by for a romantic interlude! They caught a quick look at us and bolted out of the door. (She was married to another man).

Funny enough, we never held it over her head and the next year she left, disgraced most likely.

Then came, "here's a wish for ya. Wish that S.L. gets a guy admirer."
Well that was a hard one, and since it was hard A.L. said, "I'll give you the weekend to do it."
It wasn't hard because S.L. was unbecoming (she really wasn't). It was hard because S.L. was reported to be a lesbian. S.L. also happened to be a good friend of ours.
"Done!"

The following Monday, at lunch, S.L. says to us, "I went to this concert and met this guy there. We might see one another." To which I was violently kicked beneath the table by A.L.

Then there was, "Wish S.N. would leave and never come back!"
"Done!"
And one morning while we sat and talked to one another, S.N. came in and said to us, "I have some bad news!"
"What happened?" we asked
"My parents have bought a house in Rockland County and they're transferring me to the public school there."
To which I was kicked beneath the table again and my previous bruise which was just beginning to heal nicely was once again inflamed.

Now here is where it winds down.
A.L. and I had only been best friends for 3 1/2 years but it was one of those friendships. Well then she got an undercover boyfriend. No, he wasn't a cop. He was kept undercover because she was not allowed to have boyfriends (hence the all-girl school her parent's placed her in). But they would boldly sashay their love and spit out on the street, in the halls of our school (snuck him in after classes were over) on the bus, in the park. You know. I at first was the one she would talk to during these times and once in a while they'd make out, but then came the time when I felt I was just the tagger-on (I hate not being the center of attention). So I did a little wishing of my own. Oops.

His mother called her and said, "I wont have you or any girl ruining my son's chances in school (that's why he was placed in an all-boys school) and I don't want you to see him again." She also forbade him to do so. But they tried it half-heartedly, sneaking around and such, but one day she called him and said, "I can't do this anymore. It's your mother or me." Well he chose one and A.L. was left without a boyfriend.

I then told her what I did and funny enough she didn't blame me. "I was getting sick and tired of him and his whiny mother anyway. He was such a pu$y."

But I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The gods saw that I was only using my powers to become an evil villain and deemed that I may not have them at all. Although we continued to do our wishing, only the ones that were unselfish and unhurtful came true. Needless to say, none of our wishes came true.

Oh did I mention that it does matter the size of the wish? Unlike the force, my wishing would take a toll on my strength and energy depending on how hard it was for the wish to happen. No wait, that's not quite right. It was more like karma.

I still get a few wishes but I think I only have a limited amount now. Say, 6 a year.
Okay gotta run.

I wish you a good day!
Me.

P.S. when I want revenge on someone, I don't wish it on them. I go here.

Full Moon Rising

The full moon outside has illuminated the next door neighbor's house an eerie bluish glow. I have a clear view of the inside of their garage and walking past the living room window I spotted the old man's shadow pacing back and forth across their window. Then I saw one of his sons come in and gruffly take the old man by the arm and lead him away, all the while the old man came meekly, never struggling. I'm afraid that he may be in the midst of a transformation into something unspeakable and has willingly gone to be placed into a metal cell held back by straps.

Now before you think I'm making this up, hear me out. There are strange sounds that emit from that house, and it seems to be inhabited by many dogs. One of them tries to attack Linda's dog whenever ever it's around. It's a sinister black dog that roams the neighborhood.

I notice that during a time of the full moon the family is always home and this is not the first time I've seen that old man pace back and forth only to be dragged away by one of his children.

I am afraid. In the past six months there have been several mysterious deaths, attributed to mauling by an animal. There have been hunts for coyotes and though many have been caught (though it's illegally done) the deaths have not ceased. Everyone still point to coyotes or rabid animals but I know better.

I pray that this full moon passes quickly and safely.

Me.

P.S. Oh here's something interesting. Do you know how bar codes work? Neat-o

P.D.A.

Alright, in a certain sense we've all committed this. We've held hands with our parents and even hugged a friend whom you have not seen in a long time, on the street. That's not uncomfortable. I don't mind couples holding hands and giving eachother a light kiss and moving on.

Yesterday I was at the supermarket. No, the other one, 5 miles away. On line at the checkout aisle there were two old men talking it up before me. As I stood there a while a woman came along and got in front of me and I thought, 'whoa, is she trying to cut me?' then I saw one of the men say something to her and I thought, 'oh that must be her grandfather. Probably has to drive him home'. Now that is not an ageist comment because the majority of people who shop there at the time I went were older people and there is usually a swarm of cabs and elderly buses outside, waiting to pick up their passengers who can no longer drive. It was an easy conclusion (or assumption, but when you assume...). Besides, when walking down an aisle I have to check that there's not a traffic jam since they clog the aisle with their slow moving vehicles. Now that's an ageist comment.

So, I thought, 'yep, look at that, she's even brought him the Sunday Boston Globe, well that's sweet of her. oh look she's holding his arm to guide him to the checkout girl, oh and she's whispering encouranging words to him so that he can make it along. what a sweet granddaughter she is. Oh look a quick peck. Wait a minute... wha??'

This is when I realized that she was not clutching his arm but holding his hand and those weren't whispers, she was nibbling on his ear! and they were making out right in front of me!! Then she lets go of his hand and he gives her a swat on the behind which only makes her want to make out with him some more. God I almost gagged on site. I looked behind me to see if the woman also caught a look, but she was busy looking up at the lights on the ceiling.

Okay, it was my assumptions that made me feel icky. First he was an older gentleman, like white haired and cane. She was a younger woman, like perky... everything. But what made it worse was that whenever they stopped their sessions (it was a long line) she would look over at me in a defiant way. The first time I saw them nibbling and it registered that that was not whispering I immediately focused my eyes somewhere else. Like the breakdown of Nick and Jess' marriage. But I caught her looking at me as if to say, "yeah, and what?". I must have had a disgusted look plastered to my face. Don't you hate that?

Anyway, so they left. I paid for my items. Heavy cream and ground beef. mmm. Then I went on my way.

Made me want to go back to the other supermarket and face the uncomfortable thoughts swimming around unsaid on sushi guy's and bagger's face. Theirs' say 'gimme some P.D.A.'

Me.

P.S. Happy P.D.A. in which case, P.D.A. stands for Presidents' Day Activities.

14 Neat-o's In A Row

Okay I've just been reviewing what's needed to be done for a marriage license in the state of New York. And came upon this little tidbit from this spot: Every person has the right to adopt any name by which he or she wishes to be known simply by using that name consistently and without intent to defraud.

Rich will be known as Mr. Helle-Good, and I will be known as Michelle Helle-Good. Neat-o number one.

Well I heard y'all are going down to Atlantic City in a limo. To see her. Neat-o numero dos. Have fun and be good. Not too much bubbly in the limo please.

I have dedicated a folder on my desktop entitled 'Neat-o' and within in? Here's one. Pretty fugging neat-o huh? Neat-o number 3

And numero catorce, (thank you Bono) on my neat-o list: squash. No not the stuff you eat, though I think it's pretty neat. I had to look it up since I'm not involved and since Ryan mentions it left and right I figured it might be a fun sport. Umm, I don't know about that. I have a bad time at things flying at me. See frisbee post... hmm, I guess I was too embarrassed by what happened that I didn't post anything. Or maybe I was in too much pain and unconscious to write anything!!! Geez.

Okay, there's your fourteen. Man that was hard. See if you can find 14 neat things to post about. heh.

Me.

P.S. Rich Helle-Good, we need to bring our badminton rackets because I challenged Ryan to a game and told him we'd kick his bum. heh.

Tick-tock, Tick-tock
(come on, the name of my site is a spin off from their song, might as well do it again. Besides, it's relevant)



I think my biological clock is ringing the alarm again. The last time I heard it and actually listened I got a cat as a reward. A few weeks ago I awoke in the middle of the night by this noise: tick, tick, tick, tick. It wasn't loud and eventually I fell asleep to its hypnotic lull. The next morning I woke up and physically felt an urge to have a baby. After I came back from morning bathroom break I realized that the feeling was something else, but I was left with a sense of missing something.

I really can't say "missing" something since I feel enough in my little family of three but really something is "amiss". That's when I began a search for a little companion for Soot. That seemed to relieve a lot of the pressure. I looked into another cat but felt that it would be just strange and uncomfortable for my Sooty and I really am not a cat person. Don't get me wrong, I loooove Sooty but I really am a dog person. Real dogs, mind you. Not some big rat posing as a dog. I hate little dogs. I can't get a dog for several reasons, one being that it would not do well to have an Siberian Husky since it's just not fair to my cat. I know I would pay the dog more attention because it needs it more and that's wrong and cruel.

Then I thought, well how about a little "pet-pet" for Sooty. I always feel a little guilty for having had her spayed. I know I wouldn't appreciate it if someone told me 'we're going to remove your ovaries which will not allow you to produce children'. Also I wish we didn't keep her overnight at the vet's, although they insisted that they must. That's just traumatic.

So I took Rich to the pet store under the impression that we would be buying grass for Sweety Bunch (Soot) but really it was to have a look at the kinds of animals they had there. Now I'm not a rat fan, nor do I like mice, but I guess the bigger the rodent, the less afraid I am of it. Why it's not the opposite fazes me. Not a fan of gerbils, they look too much like mice. But hamsters are bigger and actually cuter. But they're nocturnal. Then we saw the guinea pigs and although they're bigger and actually diurnal, there's something gross about them. I think it's their tubular bodies, looks as if they outgrew it and are just too bulbous.

Then we just went bigger and I realized what the perfect companion for Sooty would be. A bunny. I looked it up online and found that cats and bunnies become great companions despite the predator and prey relationship, to the point that sometimes bunnies will dominate the cat and owners will find the cat grooming the rabbit. heh. I thought a grey bunny would be so cute. A grey bunny and a grey cat. I loved the idea. Also bunnies are litter box trained and keep the same routine as cats.

I thought about going bigger, such as a baby but that's almost as bad as having a dog since it'll take all the attention from Sooty and I just wouldn't be able to bear that. I think it's tortuous to do that to something that had your undivided attention for years and to suddenly replace it and have no time for it. I know from experience how it is to be the 'only' child for 6 years and then to be upstaged by the newcomer. Luckily my parents made it seem as if I was going to be the special big sister and I had four years living in a large family where there was always a new baby being born and I was still special and had enough attention from everyone. But that's having a big family and I can't explain this all to my cat who I can imagine would be devastated.

I know she gets upset when I leave for a week to go to NY so I can imagine what would happen when I no longer pay her the attention that she gets from me now. Because of all that and a bag of chips I've pressed the snooze on my ticking clock. I will have children and I will know to pay attention to all my babies, even the biggest of them all, I call him Rich. It's on the back burner on low so it wont require my attention for a little while longer. Hopefully it wont boil over and leave me in a mess.

Have a great weekend all!
Did you know that female cats are called 'Queens'? That's exactly what Victoria is.

Me.

"FF"

You know what? I dislike dvd's. Why? Because I now have the power to fast forward and skip the parts I'd have to be forced to watch in the movies. This 'ability' also transfers to other things.

Here's an example:

See there, on the right hand side of my blog. Yeah, scroll down a little. Keep going... ooh, right there! Under the heading "Books I'm Reading" (catchy huh?). Well that's been there for quite a while now. You know why? Fast Forwarded through it. I got to a part I didn't like and said, "hmm, I'm just going to hafta put this book away, I am feeling a little distress" then my mind said, "hey guess what, just press that button and the fingers will do the walking, maybe we can find a part that wont distress ya so bad." Well I did and I haven't and so I ended it without really finishing it.

Now I knew it was going to be about slavery (a good book to read during Black History Month) and I knew I could not handle things like that because I tend to suffer along with the characters and probably hate the whole of human existence for a very long time, until of course it does something funny and gets me laughing again. But it won the Pulitzer and it looked intriguing, (how many times do I have to tell you that I do judge a book by its cover), but I couldn't hack it.

We look at eachother and we both know it's not going to work out but we're still hanging on. Maybe one day I'll find the courage to just put it away or maybe I'll just magically replace it with another book, the thing I'm more likely to do. I still peruse it, a little aimlessly but I try because we have had good times together and I think "I could try a little bit, for good times' sake" but it just doesn't catch my attention. I just know all its secrets. And really, who's fault is that? My own.

I would like the 'FF' button on life, but I'd like it paired up with the 'RW' button as well. (Yes, my cake and eat it too), so that I can say, "eh this is a yucky part, let's see how it turns out," then "ooh ooh, that looks like a good part, back up a minute!" heh. Well whaddaya gonna do? Can't have it that way. Just live it to the best of your abilities.

I will read my book, but poor thing will be deemed the 'bathroom' book because that's the only time I'll have to read it. Don't get me wrong, it's a very, very good book, I just happened to find that I read through the wonderful parts and fast forwarded 'til I couldn't stop and the credits were rolling.

First Time, Ever I Saw Your Face

This is a love story.
Come on, it's Valentine's Day.
I will give you this, it has nothing to do with a romantic encounter with Rich.

Listen already...

I was taking a class called "Women In Art and Literature" and it was a combination class, both for Women's Studies and psychology. I was finishing my minor in psychology and decided that this class would be interesting to take because it would have a psychological spin to it, meaning I'd be learning about 'crazy' women or how men can make them seem crazy. Now that's a good premise for a love story...

To make this part of the story shorter, I was consistently grouped up with the same set of girls and we became acquainted and one of them told me that her cat was about to have kittens and since she couldn't keep all of them would we be interested in taking one.

Well this required much forethought and planning on my part. I immediately said 'yes!' and that was the deal.

I told Rich about the plan and though he expressed some hesitation, it's very hard for him to say no to my pretty little beatings.

My friend came to me and told me that most of the cats were given to various family members but there was one left. A short-haired, grey cat. Perfect. I said yes, and since I could only get it eight weeks later, our class had already finished and I had to pick her up sometime in June. I thought the appropriate place for me to pick it up was on the catwalk, in front of the library.

So one, hot day in June, I fell in love. My friend came to the catwalk, but she was not carrying a kitten in her hands. Instead she held a tissue box and out from the little hole came the sweetest little head. The creature inside looked up at me and said, "mew!" as if to say, "let's go!"

Since then she's been with us for three years and it's been three years of love and companionship with a few bites and scratches along the way. Her fourth birthday is next month. woohoo. We're throwing her a party and taking a trip down to Florida. heh.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Me.

P.S. There's a new poll up!!

Summer Breeze

I would have entitled this post something like, "Love is the enchanted dawn to every heart" or "the dawn of romance" or even "to wake at dawn with a winged heart" and then play off on the word dawn and the message of love. But I found those a tiny bit tacky, for lack of a better word. And if you don't know by now I'm not romantically inclined. However, I must take a stab at it and being that Valentine's Day (which I call VD in my head) is tomorrow, I figured why not designate it something a little less gaggy and a little more pop, or at the very least, some kind of feminine product or odor that you'd prefer to smell like. It is VD.

Before I began my first semester of the first year of freshman undergraduate life, I moved into my apartment, shared by one roommate and another along the way, the one before that having moved back to Japan. No, my school did not have dorms, but that's another story.

My female roommate, or rather, apartmentmate, was named, well really, what's in a name? All we need to know is that she was a tad crazy. Wait, that's another story.

I was thrust into this world of independence, which really required no marked change in my life, other than it was in a new place, 200 miles away from what I knew, but I am quite an independent person and it did not bother me one bit. Yes, yes, that's another story or stories, shall I say. In those last few weeks before school began and summer was just at the point where you enjoyed it the most, live my fondest set of memories, of new life and new love. This is where Rich comes in. His parents had just purchased him a brand new car and he came around, dashing knight in shining armor that he is, upon his fiery, green steed and whisked me away.

In total I spent two nights in that apartment, the entire time I "lived" there and one night sleeping inside the warm, and semi comfortable aforementioned steed. Now before you think things I will quickly change the subject with the slightest of hand movements and you wont see how it was done, I can't say or hardly remember, but we would then drive around this new place called "the South Shore" and having shore in its name it's easy to get to a beach. For some mornings in a row, Rich and I found ourselves getting reacquainted.

He and I would walk the beach watching the sun rise, magically, from the depths of the ocean, in perfect harmony, never fearing that one would extinguish the other. After a moment of watching the light show we'd head over to the Dunkin' Donuts across the street from the beach.

In our innocence we'd order plain, toasted, whole wheat bagels and orange juice, believing that it was the butter that would eventually kill us and not the flour and sugar and other carbs. We'd sit in the car and eat to our little hearts' content, talking and watching as the morning walkers and joggers and doggers made their way across our view and into their own scheduled lives.

It was those moments and minutes that made summer an endless time. A time of bagels and granola bars, and experiencing new things. It's what I think of whenever the time comes around for graduations and moving away. In reality, our little honeymoon was only a week long. Rich then had to go back to work and I had to begin my new life as a college freshman, struggling to meet deadlines and do the work, and learning the schedules for buses and trains, and finding out that the Yankees were known as the "evil Empire". That time kept getting further and further away in reality but in my memory I've slept in that car enough to know its contours, consumed a thousand bagels, spotted the beach with our footprints, gotten friendly with the dog walkers and relived each little moment with Rich more times than I can say.


Happy VD all. Try not to get a vd on VD. heh. Be good. I love you all. Especially you.

Me.

I'm A Little Jealous Of My Brother

Why in the heck does my mother call him but not me? Hel-lo!! You have two children! Remember? God, her memory lapses have just gotten worse and worse! Ugh! She deserves to be punished! I'm not calling her!

Wait, that seems to be a reward for her! I am calling her!
Gah, I don't care that she saw Josh Groban in concert but I don't mind her telling me. That's it!
"Ooh Ma-mike, I have exciting news to tell you, ooh". Haha.

Bah! Just because I'm getting married doesn't mean that I'm leaving the family circle forever. Although she did imply that she was not happy with me anymore since I was moving to Florida. How to get into her good graces...? Well what always worked was to tell her a secret about Mike... Although in the past few years that only endeared him to her. (Please see the s bomb blog). Ugh, what to do! Must sabotage their mother and son love.
What is love?
Does not compute.
Overloading of systems, meltdown achieved in 10 seconds.
9...
8...
7...
6...

I love ya mom.
Me (your only daughter, Michelle!!!) You had me in your womb for nine months! 'Tis I, the smart one? heh. Love ya too Mike.

This And That

God, I'm a weener. I hafta remember to put up a new poll today. Even though it's still winter I want to change my layout, to something spring-y. Yay Spring!! Yep, mundane and boring. It snowed last night but not as much as they claimed we'd have. They also claimed it would be either snowing or sleeting this morning but looking out the window I see that we have an actual sunny, clear day. Lovely. One can never trust the Boston meteorologists. They didn't tell me it was a blizzard until I could look outside and see for myself. They're not on top of things. Ugh.

Onto other things...

I just saw "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow"!!! and I thought it was excellent! Different look and feel, really captures that hard-boiled mystery feel of the 1920-30's. Ya know, like "I was sitting in my office when she came in. She gave me a once over but all I could see were her legs," or something like that. You know!! Geez. Like Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Ellroy? Okay how 'bout women, Sara Pertsky, Sue Grafton. Whatever. Except the women are writing in today form not the 30's but it's still hard-boiled. Anywho, the movie was good and different. heh.

We saw "Garden State" last night. I liked it. I'd possibly watch it again if it were on the tv and I were in the kitchen at the time. Of course it's following the trend of minimalism that most 'bigger' independent films have. It's a 'protypical independent film', to borrow someone elses words. It's got it's cliche "Oscar Clip", it's got it's visual metaphors, it's out-of-body main character, oh and a cliche "journey" that opens ones eyes. Ya know, the works. I compared it to 'Lost in Translation' and after some discussion Rich and I decided we appreciate 'Lost in Translation' moreso because it was beautifully filmed and wasn't pushy about where they were taking you. It seems everyone's a little sad.

Other minimalist movies that come to mind...
'Ghost World'
'Donnie Darko'
'Napoleon Dynamite'

Whenever I am alone in the supermarket, walking between the glass doors of the frozen food aisle, I always think, 'this would be a great shot for one of those movies' then I go on to wonder what the frozen foods could represent. Be it my stagnant life, a state of frozen existence, a cold, cold view of the world and my need to find equilibrium in the satisfactory neatness and chill of it all. Then I think, maybe it could be the backdrop, the antithesis of me. I could be the happy, cheery person, contrasted to the cold, harsh conditions around me. Either way the shot would just be me and my cart (though I always use the basket) and music. Maybe something modern, trying to sound old kinda song, or maybe instrumental with violins, lots of strings. Yah, I know I think too much just for a box of Bird's Eye frozen peas. If this is all my degrees can get me then...
I liked the movie, is what I'm trying to say.

Heh.
Well it's TGIF time. Have a great weekend. I better call me madre. See ya's!

Me.

In Addition...

Happy Muslim New Year!!! It is actually Muharram, Islamic Year 1426!
Seems everyone's fasting.

Oh and for those of you who have no idea why people place ashes on their foreheads (or in my case, what looked like a charcoal smudge coming out of my drawing class) and where it ever stemmed from... here's an article from wikipedia. The divine source for knowledge. heh. Ooh don't forget it's that time of year! Fish Fridays!! Yay! I love fish. hehe. I don't think you're supposed to take it like that. It should be more like "Fish Friday. But it's for the good of our souls." I can't consider that fasting if you eat more fish than any other meat, and you enjoy it. Ew, remember the fishsticks they use to serve in our parochial school cafeterias? It would be breaded and fried to a lovely golden color but the fish on the inside was gray and tasted nothing like fish.

Oh and not like it's "fasting" it's really in remembrance of "Good Friday" the day Jesus was crucified. One more article, to clear things up, or just make you think.

Whatever the reason, I like to have a day specified for when I can eat fish because I can never get enough of it and I can never remember to buy some to eat. I can't believe swordfish was actually being sold at $15/lb and I still had to cook it. Good grief. I can't buy it on Fridays because I'd be competing with F.F. Christians. I'd have to buy it on Saturday when it's a day old and much cheaper. ew. heh.

Day late and a dollar short.
Have a nice day!

Me.

Happy Everyday!!

Hey bitches, whaddup? It's that time of year again!! More like "New Year". Happy Chinese New Year! Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Also happy Ash Wednesday. I was busy celebrating Fat Tuesday yesterday. So what are you giving up for Lent? I might just give up...

Moi.
Be good y'all. Night Bitch.

In the Blue Veil of the Night

One should look back at what one did to get to this point and one has to be very careful of what one wishes for.

This is really a prelude to Valentine's Day but before you cringe at the impending mushy-ness hear me out.

It begins a few nights before the full moon in October, years ago. My friends and I had climbed up on the ladder and were staring at the moon from their roof. We had been watching as she had slowly blossomed and soon she would reach her fullest. It was silent and we were kept warm by the blanket of a starry night sky above us. Our entertainment was the shifts and movements of the glittering lights before us and our conversations.

We had been dabbling in the occult and we felt it was an opportune time to cast a few spells when the moon was at her brightest and strongest. We spent the following nights deciding what was needed and which spells to perform. There were the various spells of money, love and the occasional thunderstorm. What any teenager would ask for.

The night of the full moon we gathered in someone's backyard and brought out the cauldron (someone's old pot), wands (twigs broken off the nearest tree), various herbs (bottles of Pathmark brand oregano etc.) dried and fresh flowers (I was handy with drying flowers and had a full collection. The fresh ones were plucked from mom's garden). A few candles (nubs because that's all we could find) and of course the book of spells. We were dressed in black. I in black jeans and black hoodie.

We decided that what we had on hand were the ingredients for a love spell and so that was the first spell to be cast. We stood at our corners, I being east and since really this spell was meant for me, I went first. We said the chant, one of us holding the book while trying to hold hands, passing the book around for the next person to read their line until we ended it. Something to the effect of
"I am the east. Full moon above bring me my true love by the next full moon"
then we sprinkled the ingredients into the cauldron full of water bathed in moon light.

We were getting ready for the next spell when someone's grandmother popped out and asked us what we were doing. Hastily we called out that it was nothing and collected the various herbs and pressed flowers, candles and the book. There we parted ways, forgetting the cauldron, on my part because it was one of theirs and I figured they'd collect it later.

It was only later I found out that no one took up the cauldron and really I did not think of it anymore. We had to forgo our nightly trysts and spell casting because the blanket of night sky was not enough to keep us warm on the roof. Besides, their neighbors had said something and we had to end that. So we spent the rest of that year warm and cozy before the television or in the kitchen nibbling at treats.

A month later I was surprised by a fellow named Rich, who came along...
It was only looking back when I realized that it was the full moon when he and I met.

Some strange work that one can cast out a call and pull forth someone so kind, simple, funny and full of love for me.

My cat's page is one of the feature pages! haha. yay!! Congratulations Sooty!!

Geek.

Beautiful Noise

I had fun with George's and Mike's lyric guessing that I decided to do a shortened version of it. However, I do not own an ipod so I just put my itunes on shuffle and used the first seven songs.

Before I start, I think it's interesting that it depends on what mood I'm in when I choose my favorite "lines" from the song. For example, I'm listening to "Accidentally In Love" by the Counting Crows, and if I were in a sad mood I probably would have said my favorite line was "These lines of lightning mean we're never alone, never alone no no" but today I'm feeling good so I'd pick "Well baby I surrender to the strawberry ice cream never ever end of all this love".

So for those who don't know how it goes I'm supposed to pick my favorite lyrics from the first (seven) songs I hear on shuffle and have you all guess what the songs are. If you get it right I'll put that song in italics so everyone knows when someone guessed it right. Don't be greedy, let everyone have a chance with it. Especially since I only have seven.

Here they are:
1. "been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding
the cretins cloning and feeding"

2. "No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes"

3. "I dont wanna stop just because
people walkin'by watchin'us
I dont give a damn what they think
I want you now"

4. "Left alone with big fat fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me"

5. "I come lookin' for a job,
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from the whores on 7th Avenue.
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there"

6. "They had a hi-fi phono, boy, did they let it blast
Seven hundred little records, all rock, rhythm and jazz
But when the sun went down, the rapid tempo of the music fell"

7. "Pride can stand a thousand trials,
the strong will never fall
But watching stars without you,
my soul cried."

Have fun. heehee.
Me.

Okay, okay, I gave you all a break. You all sorta got the song.
Yes, number one has that line paranoia, paranoia and is sung by Harvey.
#2 is King of the Road not choad... (Roger Miller) I got it after that red-headed kid sang it on American Idol. haha.
#4 is Fat-bottomed Girls (not churls) by Queen. 'Cause they're gonna let it all hang out.
#6 is by Chuck Berry and it does say "c'est la vie" right before "you can never tell" which is the actual title. I got that off the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.
#7. Yes, it is by Des'ree, woman of deep voice and it is called "Kissing You" off of the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack. One of my favorite songs in the whole of this world. She also sang "You gotta be".

Any one for number 5 and 3?

More Bang For A Buck At The Stop & Shop

I've begun to avoid shopping at the local supermarket, choosing instead to drive five miles out of my way (as opposed to the 2 minute, 1 mile that I do for the one down the block) because I feel uncomfortable with the employees they hire there. There were two options and I chose the latter, (the former being: waiting for Rich and going at a later time, and although I enjoy going with him, I enjoy the other times when I'm alone more so. see this blog.)

If there was only one I'd be fine because I know how to avoid one. But two! And it's too big that I get aisles and aisles to myself, which at one point was my definition of heaven, instead of bumping into some 'walking' personage, namely the elderly.

Okay, here's the story. There's this boy who works there that looks sorta Filipino but I know that he's not. Wait, I really don't know if he is or not but I guess not. In my head I call him "sushi boy" because he can often be found working next to the sushi guy, but he's really the meat/fish stocker or something like that. All I know is that when I go to peruse the meat section he's there staring at me as if to ask, "would you like to peruse my meats?" yeah, that's how gross I feel too. Then the other day I was walking by (I went at a later time hoping to be unnoticed) and I was looking in the other direction and when I went to see if there were any good fish available I saw him walking past me but his eyes were at the side of his head staring at me. I swear I'll punch his little brown face, and that's brown on brown violence.

Now onto the other guy I'm more weirded out with. I swear he's the guy I use to see at the parking lot of UMass, when I was an undergraduate. This was a few years ago and I used to go early to avoid the traffic but also to be able to sit in my car unmolested by noise, cars, people and be able to watch the sun rise out of the ocean and breathe in the salty air before classes started. Well I would usually be the first car in the lot but a few minutes later there would often be another car and it was one of those huge, brick of a car, that old people prefer driving. And out from it would step this dude who would walk very quickly into the garages and buildings. However, one day I witnessed this: I'm sitting in my car reading when I hear this noise, and it's the guy screaming at the top of his lungs, kneeling on the asphalt. Then he gets up and repeats it again and again every few feet. I ducked down hoping he wouldn't notice I was there but then after the fifth one he continued on his way into the buildings. Then the next day he was there before me and he had taken my favorite spot... needless to say I never parked there again.

But then a year or so ago I saw him bagging our bags at the supermarket. I elbowed Rich as we stepped out and said, "that's the guy!" and since he knew the above story he nodded. I even saw the car in the parking lot and that confirmed it for me. But that's not the weird part.

I often go to the "bag and scan your own groceries" aisle, as I like to hear the beep from scanning goods, but I mostly go there if it's just me and Rich because I scan and he bags. And we're faster than any employee. Sometimes, in the mornings that's what they have opened and I don't mind because I like to keep a perfectly harmonious trip that way, without having to say "hello" and "paper bags please" and "credit" and "thanks". Those six words could ruin my mornings. Well one morning it started with him rushing from out of nowhere to stand where Rich ususally stands to bag my things. He waits there til the next can of cat food rolls down the line. Sometimes he'll forgo other customers just so he can be able to touch all of my things and place them in a bag. I think what really turns him on is if he can make the six feet that keeps us apart, disappear as he rushes over to help me with something that wont scan through. Inevitably it's beef frankfurters. Then he stares down at me until I mumble my thanks.

So I said, "take this!" and I brought along Rich and his mom to go grocery shopping one day, and I started scanning and Rich was positioned to go and bag, when suddenly "tag'er and bagger" comes running over and actually starts bagging the things! It's a sign! He wants to replace Rich. Then Rich came over and says "but Michelle! that's my job!" all I could do was nod grimly. You wont catch me going over to talk to him. We all walked out with our tails between our legs. Ever since then he's just bagged all the things I send flying down.

So much for female domination... Although I could look at it in a different light. He's grovelling before me, begging to bag my things. Yeah! Then why do I feel uncomfortable? Because my imagination can play the scene where I refuse his advances and he knocks me down with a loaf of day old bread and shoves me in with the frozen peas until he and sushi guy can chop me up in pieces and I'll be beneath the "meat specials" sign.

Whoa, that's not a bad story.

Oops, sorry for the long post.
Gotta go. Beware of baggers and stockers.
Have a great weekend! I'll send your letter out soon Julie! Have a good weekend for your birthday, I know you're celebrating it soon!

Me.

Here She Is: Miss America!

Hey all! I'm back from three days (it was actually four if I count Sunday night) of tawdry feasting, whores, peeping tom-ing, lots and lots of gin, improper grooming, uncomfortable and alien positions and cramps and soreness in strange places. I would go into details but I'd rather not (not because it would turn your hair white but because I'm just too lazy).

I want to thank my guest bloggers for keeping the site running and for having some... interesting things up. Hmm. Looks like y'all had a great ole time.

So what's up pussycat?
Oh speaking of pussycat, Soot's got her own little page at catchow.com. If you'd like to view it and read about my precious, please press one. Or if you would rather not click on this link, please see the side bar, beneath "aural pleasure" at the picture of Soot. If you know the name of the website please press...

That commercial for Starburst that parodies Lionel Ritchie's music video "Hello" always cracks me up whenever I see it. I think it's a great idea to create a human head with starburst candy. mmm.

Okay, my head's still foggy. I better get going. Have a wonderful day all! Oh and someone's birthday's coming up! Yay! Oh and happy belated groundhog day!

Me.

It took me a while to think up of something to write up for my sister's blog. I mean, whenever I read my sister's blog it usually is very insightful, well written, to the point. Whereas mine tangent off into space. So I had to think of a topic that was bugging me and was also of "Michelle" caliber. So I thought of the round table discussions of Angela, Jin, Althea, and Myself. There are many topics that I could mention... the people that wear thick jackets during the summer, white people having "sh!tlock" hair, "Mr. Cedric", the guy whose shirts are too loud for his shirt. But I decided to go for funny, something not so Michelle caliber. I pre-ask for forgiveness for this unnecessary story... Well here's the story anyway:

True Love? Eww...

Last semester during one round table dinner. Angela and I spotted this couple. A short (about 5'4) Asian girl and this tall (about 6'5) white guy on one of the "lower" tables. And he was all up on her. In the dining hall. Or as my sister calls it "mess" hall. We turned Jin's head and she caught it. The guy was relentlessly kissing the girl's hand as she was just reading a book. The next time Althea managed to eat with us, our favorite viewing couple was there, shenanigans still going strong, The guy was playing with her hair this time as she seemingly continued eating as if he wasn't there. We saw them in and out last semester, but we had our first sighting this weekend...actually on Jin's birthday. Good birthday present right? By now the guy had a bad slouch, an almost humpback sorta look from bending over to this girl. He sorta reminded Angela of an ostrich as he twisted his neck to the girl's cheek. This time we spotted him kissing her (un-passionately of course) and he was watching her eat. Angela and I went to the ice cream section to get some ice cream and the couple passed us by, the guy going "I don't think you should have ice cream." We realized he was following the girl to the pizza station and back. He didn't grab any food, he was just following her. This guy was whipped we all agreed, even Ivy, Jin's Chinese friend who was sitting with us yesterday, was a little caught aback by the antics. We decided to get going before they started having sex on the table. But of course right as we got up, they got up and we all sorta went down stairs to the exit at the same time. To continue the eww factor, Althea and Angela had to print out something at the computer lab and we went inside. Lo and behold, our favorite lunchtime entertainment was there too, this time the guy watching the girl's monitor and kissing her some more as she just worked on. We had to leave then or else it woulda gotten worse. We took a bet on when they would break up. Though everyone said later on, I thought right before Valentines Day. Althea thinks that that guy has FTD speed dialed on his phone so that it would be one of those days that you could get seventy thousand flowers every hour for twenty four hours on Valentines Day.

There are different things that were wrong with this scenario that Angela, Jin, Althea, and I noted. 1) The events were happening in a very unromantic place, the dining hall. The place where people eat, maybe meet friends, and try to finish homework. 2) The guy was all up on her. He was watching her eat. He was kissing her while she ate. He was kissing her as she twiddled her finger around her hair. He would turn her head and kiss her on the mouth as they were eating. Jeez, you'd think that he'd give her some space. I mean love doesn't mean that you should be joined at the hip. 3) They are like this outside of the dining hall. We thought first maybe this was the only time that boy could see girl, but Althea saw them numerous times at the Library and one time she was walking to her bank and she saw them, pretty much soddered together, walking to the bank. She just wanted to walk right through the couple to break them up. 4) This girl doesn't really respond to this guy's motions. I mean the relationship is really one sided. We could imagine the guy making out with a mannequin sitting in the dining hall and it would be the same.

This story is true and we are all not crazy, if anyone would want to meet me in the dining hall at the times we eat (during the weekends this semester) you can witness it yourself. It is funny, and it creates lunch conversation so I should thank them for that....well except for the times that one of us almost choked when we didn't believe the antics that they were making. And if you're saying something like we're hypocrites, I will admit I was in and out (and in again) of (for a lack of words) love this college year and I wasn't like that in public, Althea has Steve, and he's visited last semester and I can attest that they aren't like that. Maybe we like privacy.

Wednesday's Guest Blogger -Mike (aka the weird younger brother)

OMG, I was playing the song "Gigolo" and my friend asked who sang it. And I said it was "R2 Kelly". My friend said, is that like "R2D2" or something? I was mortified but I'll live. If urinating on sixteen year old girls makes you that talented then sign me up y'all.

Get this, my friend was just sitting near me and was like "I need to take a shower, it feels all gritty when I sit down". I was like "G-R-O-S-S!!!"

My friend was telling me the other day that it is not possible to set out to make a positive difference in this world. This is for the simple fact: you have no idea what effect your actions will have.

I just got this sweet pair of Timberland boots. They are insulated for the winter and have steel toes for crush protection and a steel shank in the sole to protect against stepping on nails and the like. Yeah they are tan "work boot" style. Freakin sweet.

Thank you for your time,
The Guest Blogger