Epiphany

Silly me, forgot to continue with this train of discussion. So last Sunday I was in church, and though people may think I don't take it seriously, with my anecdotes of the booger pew and the cheap woman, I really do listen to the homily and how it would pertain to my life and of those around me. Last Sunday's sermon was how "love" is not only given through your words but also and most importantly through your actions. The greatest evidence of love, as our priest pointed out, was Jesus dying on the cross to save us. How great and how selfless. It's hard to imagine that I would ever do something like that because I am selfish. I come first. My self preservation instinct demands that I come first. Perhaps a mother would give herself up for her children in order to save them, but I cannot imagine doing it for a perfect stranger. Perhaps I need to work on that. But I stray, see this is not when the epiphany occurred.

I need to tell you all a little something. I really enjoy going to church and it's not for the chanting, nor the priest's sermon, it's not for sitting and kneeling, standing and singing. It's not even because I enjoy shaking hands with everyone around me. I see church as God's house and inside I feel secure and pleasantly peaceful. But here's the thing, when I sit there, sometimes in the early time, before it all begins, and the lights are dim and I am surrounded by the darkened wooden pews, soft light filtered through the stain glass windows, kneeling there and praying to God, I feel the physical sensation of a connection. Something rises from the crown of my head and I get a feeling of floating, or coming out of my body. Now this does not only occur when I am in church. It will happen when I am praying at home, when I am feeling particularly exalted and exulted, in a happy state of letting go. I know, i know, y'all are all thinking that Michelle's gone crazy, but this has happened since childhood and I see it as a sign of connecting with a greater being, be it God or be it just happiness or the world's consciousness. Am I one to explain what it is?

Well so the epiphany occurred during that time in church, right after you receive the communion and you're kneeling there in your own thoughts, chewing away, but trying not to make it seem too obvious. I have this thing that before I could swallow all of the host I have to be able to say a prayer for everyone. So kneeling and praying for God to watch and protect my family and those I love and for those I don't, I felt the sensation and this peace came over me, and it's contradictory to say this but I felt overwhelmed that there was this other "presence" that I could feel. I started to tear up and I sat there with these two opposite feelings of calm and "brimmingness", it was strange.

I don't know what else to post. If anyone has a similar occurrence or just needs to comment then leave me one. Thanks and peace be with you.
P.S. Would you call that an "encuentro"?

Me