Guilt and a Close Call

I know we all feel guilty once in a while for what we have done or failed to do (why does that sound like a prayer?*) and I really believe in karma, especially since my mom brought us up with a similar concept that she called "gaba" (Visayan).

Something happened two nights ago to my brother. He was in a car accident and luckily he left the vehicle without a scratch (as opposed to the car which is "wrecked"). Now I feel a lot of guilt for it and I think it's a sign of karma/gaba.

Why should I feel guilty about it? Several reasons:
First off, I woke up that morning and decided that I would bug him for the $100 that he owed me for taking his exam for him while he was in the Philippines even though in the back of my mind I thought, "stop these thoughts right now! You don't need the money and why would money ever be an issue between you and family!" and so because of that I didn't bug him but the thought would reoccur throughout the day.
Second, he had called me sometime later that day (leaving a message) to tell me that if he won the lottery he would call mom first and I would be called third. He couldn't even name a second person and so he changed his mind and put me in second but by then I was offended that I was placed in third and when he said "call me back" at the end of the message I had already decided that I would call him "third" that night... meaning I wasn't going to get back to him. And in full retaliation I turned off my phone and when I got home I took a nap.

Just a side note, I took a nap around 4:30 and my naps usually last for two hours if not more and it's a rare day that I take one lasting shorter than that. My inner clock is pretty good at waking me up at exactly two hours, but that day I woke up just a little before 6. I asked Rich what time it was (being blind by lack of glasses) and was surprised to know that it wasn't even 6 yet. I thought it was strange that I had woken that soon and decided that my body wasn't that tired, so I lay in bed wondering what in the world was wrong with me that I would wake up that early but put it out of my head and got up to make dinner.

Now when I found out that my mother and my brother had tried to call me but I had turned off my cellphone I was immediately full of guilt because I did not find out that my brother was in an accident until the next morning. I knew it was karma or God telling me that being a petty, selfish person almost lost me my only sibling and if anything worse had happened I would have known then because they both tried to call me around the time I had woken up that evening but my cellphone was off!! Now I feel terrible and the guilt hasn't worn off yet.

I have talked to all three of them since and 'though they all claim to be okay I'm still a little shaken by the idea of having lost my brother or even having him slightly harmed. I prayed a little prayer and talked it over with Rich and of course in time I'll just laugh over it but for now I have written this so that I know that it really was something serious.

Be safe out there.
Me.

*Der.. I haven't been to mass in a while and that is part of the Confiteor or the "I confess". What you say at the beginning of mass, a confession of sins, in preparation to mass. I'm sure all you Catholic school kids know this by heart:

I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.

(line in italics were placed there by me and is not part of the prayer).