Thursday, July 28, 2005

Happy 3rd Blogiversary Day!!!


So, try not to laugh at the Finding Nemo layout... I find it terribly cute although it wasn't my favorite movie. It'll only be up for a few days until I put up my "Fruit of Summer" layout. On this day 3 years ago I began my blogspot blog. I had a xanga, two actually (of a similar name), but moved over here. Lots have come and gone and come again in the past three years and hopefully I'll continue this for 3x3 years. (That's meant metaphorically, like Jesus' 7x7). okay, gotta run now. See y'all soon.

Me.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Just A Plane Ride Away

So I found out yesterday that my parents and brother are coming down to see me in two weeks. I am absolutely excited. I love seeing them and having them around to hang out (for a few days). Mike just called me and we came up with a very rough itinerary of things to do whilst here in Orlando. We're definitely going to Disney and they're actually going to stay at a Disney Resort. I wont write which resort right now but after their trip I will try to post up pictures and tell you all about it.

Hopefully I can also finally settle my wedding plans once my mom comes around! Yay. And I hope my hubby, who managed to have a little minor amnesia about those "plans", will remember himself and his promises!! Ahem!!!

Okee, I gotta run!

Me.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Runaway

When I was in fifth grade I had a best friend named Rachel. She was one of those spunky, tomboys who made up for being scrawny by being a tough cookie. In many ways I tried to emulate her and tried my best to imitate the way she spoke, the way she wore her hair, the way she acted. Needless to say I got in a few scrapes in that school year because of her. She was a new kid and the way she carried herself made everyone wary of her. She also had the help of her two stepbrothers; Josh, who was a grade older and way taller than all of us and Carl, who was in our grade and who was blond and blue-eyed with a daredevil attitude to everything.

I only knew them through school and had nothing to do with their outside lives but oh how I wished I could live with them. They always shared their adventures to me and it seemed as if they were orphans and in my imagination I saw them running the concrete jungle in packs like street rats. And in my romaticized view of it I saw them pilfering their food from unknowing vendors and robbing unsuspecting walkers in a crowded street. I wanted to know what that adreneline was like and I wanted to prove that I could do it too. I was in awe and a little afraid of their unscrupulous ways. It seemed so full of danger and for a 10 year old who lived a lot of her life in books, cooped up in her room this was the real thing and it made me yearn for it.

Then came my chance to be part of their little family. One day we were outside in the parking lot of the school, which also was our play area and Rachel and Carl pulled me aside and we walked the perimeter of the yard talking in whispers. They were planning to run away from their home for a few weeks and wondered if I was interested in joining them. They had found that in the park below us there grew these trees/bushes that covered everything beneath them. They were the perfect "homes" because the underside was bare and protected anyone from rain and from people who would be looking for them. They had already tried one out and had found one that was hard to get to but was big enough to fit all of us. My heart and mind raced. They planned to go through with it in a few days, their mom would be going out one afternoon and that was when they would leave. We decided that I would come later that evening when my parents were asleep.

The night came when I was to do the deed and I waited for my parents to finally shut off all the lights and close their door. While I waited I imagined the route that I would be taking. First I would be going out the fire escape, and walk down the hill, then take a left onto Carpenter road and walk past our school one block and go down to the park and find the tree where they would be waiting for me. I was both nervous and exhilirated. I didn't plan on bringing anything extra but my jacket and money.

Ten o'clock rolled around and it had been half an hour since my parents had shut the lights and closed their door. I had to be sure they were really in bed and asleep before attempting anything. I walked to the living room, carrying my sneakers in hand because I figured my padded socks would make less noise than sneakers. I climbed onto the sofa to get to the fire escape and unlatched the lock to the accordian gate we kept over it. I then slid the window open, afraid that my parents would hear that squeal of protest that the never opened window gave. I froze waiting for to hear their door open but it didn't.

From the window a cold night breeze blew and I stepped my socked foot onto the grates of the fire escape and eased the rest of me onto the landing. I stood there feeling the chill of the vertical metal edge pressing against my foot. From the fourth story of my building the street below looked terrifyingly far, the wind also blew my hair around, whipping against my face and I stood there watching as the cars zoomed up the hill. I gazed down toward the bottom of the hill and the streetlamp was bathing the concrete in an eerie yellow light and it looked too far away and strangely empty. My hand was clutching the railing and I realized that it was very cold. I let go of the railing, placed my sneakers onto the ledge of the window and ducked back into the warmth of the house. Closing the window and relatching the gate, I walked back to my room, throwing my sneakers on the floor and crawled into my warm bed and pulled close the book that I was reading.

Me.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

I love Chav

New "word" of the day, from Chav... hueva. Get it? "Who ever"!! hahaha. Love it. Thanks to me m8, hus always wiv me, for the site.

Me.


Thursday, July 21, 2005

Only Time

I know I said I was going to put up a new layout and update everything but of course I've just been busy doing nothing including not working on my blog. But listen to this... in a week's time, my blog will be turning a whopping 3 years old! Actually my first ever post was written on July 30th so maybe I'll celebrate it's official anniversary on that date. So then I will put up new things and pictures! Don't be too surprised that it shows up in dribs and drabs because I will be doing it in intervals.

So you have plans for the weekend? I don't. do do do do.

One little complaint is that I have to work tonight (and Saturday) til freakin' 1 in the morning. Huh? I asked about that and they informed me that because I was lowest man on the totem poll that I would have to basically just "deal with it". Lovely.

So that's how it's been. But in total not a terrible week. We finally have Florida plates! or plate, I should say. No more hate from Floridians because of our Mass plates, (they hate tourists) but tell no one...I dislike them. Rude and mean and terrible drivers. They're all on their cellies, weaving traffic, and disregarding everyone around them. If driving your car isn't close to the top of my list of self-centeredness. Well, I guess it is personal space. Backoff!!

Me.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Wedding and a Funeral (*Contains a slight spoiler alert to the Potter book 6*)

..."The stars are not wanted now, put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good."

That's a little bit of W.H. Auden's "Funeral Blues" which, if you've ever seen the movie "Four Weddings and a Funeral", is recited by a character.

So I've just finished the book, which would have been devoured yesterday had I not work to attend to. I've been searching forums to how others have felt about the news but no one seems to have finished the book or are too shocked at what has occurred. I'm sickened and for some reason it makes me crave a nicely grilled hot dog. I wont go on anymore until the significant other has read it as well. I will just state plainly that I am devastated.

Me.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Update and Outdated

Hey y'all, I guess I need to update my blog, not the writing but the sides. Too bad I'm working this weekend, starting tomorrow, so it will not be likely changed until Monday. Yeah, I know, why bother writing about it if I'm not going to do anything about it, but that's just me. lalala.

By the way, I have damned Kelly fuggin' Monico and her General Hospital fan base!

Also, Florida is the lightning capital of the U.S. The lightning capital of the world is Rwanda.

Will try to post pics and maybe change my layout when I can. So expect a new look in the next year.

Tomorrow is Friday and thank God for it. Have a good weekend y'all.

Me.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Guilt and a Close Call

I know we all feel guilty once in a while for what we have done or failed to do (why does that sound like a prayer?*) and I really believe in karma, especially since my mom brought us up with a similar concept that she called "gaba" (Visayan).

Something happened two nights ago to my brother. He was in a car accident and luckily he left the vehicle without a scratch (as opposed to the car which is "wrecked"). Now I feel a lot of guilt for it and I think it's a sign of karma/gaba.

Why should I feel guilty about it? Several reasons:
First off, I woke up that morning and decided that I would bug him for the $100 that he owed me for taking his exam for him while he was in the Philippines even though in the back of my mind I thought, "stop these thoughts right now! You don't need the money and why would money ever be an issue between you and family!" and so because of that I didn't bug him but the thought would reoccur throughout the day.
Second, he had called me sometime later that day (leaving a message) to tell me that if he won the lottery he would call mom first and I would be called third. He couldn't even name a second person and so he changed his mind and put me in second but by then I was offended that I was placed in third and when he said "call me back" at the end of the message I had already decided that I would call him "third" that night... meaning I wasn't going to get back to him. And in full retaliation I turned off my phone and when I got home I took a nap.

Just a side note, I took a nap around 4:30 and my naps usually last for two hours if not more and it's a rare day that I take one lasting shorter than that. My inner clock is pretty good at waking me up at exactly two hours, but that day I woke up just a little before 6. I asked Rich what time it was (being blind by lack of glasses) and was surprised to know that it wasn't even 6 yet. I thought it was strange that I had woken that soon and decided that my body wasn't that tired, so I lay in bed wondering what in the world was wrong with me that I would wake up that early but put it out of my head and got up to make dinner.

Now when I found out that my mother and my brother had tried to call me but I had turned off my cellphone I was immediately full of guilt because I did not find out that my brother was in an accident until the next morning. I knew it was karma or God telling me that being a petty, selfish person almost lost me my only sibling and if anything worse had happened I would have known then because they both tried to call me around the time I had woken up that evening but my cellphone was off!! Now I feel terrible and the guilt hasn't worn off yet.

I have talked to all three of them since and 'though they all claim to be okay I'm still a little shaken by the idea of having lost my brother or even having him slightly harmed. I prayed a little prayer and talked it over with Rich and of course in time I'll just laugh over it but for now I have written this so that I know that it really was something serious.

Be safe out there.
Me.

*Der.. I haven't been to mass in a while and that is part of the Confiteor or the "I confess". What you say at the beginning of mass, a confession of sins, in preparation to mass. I'm sure all you Catholic school kids know this by heart:

I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.

(line in italics were placed there by me and is not part of the prayer).

Saturday, July 09, 2005

In The Aw-tum


It's too early in the morning but I'm up, getting ready to go to work. One problem with working these times is that I never get enough sleep, but the pro that makes it okay is that I get off early enough to go home for my regularly scheduled nap.

But that's not what I came around to blog about... the other day I called me mum to wish her a happy 4th of July and to ask when my Philippine goodies were coming. I always let her talk because I never call her enough and combining this with the fact that I'm never around, always leaves me feeling a little guilty and sad, and so I let her vent and gossip and we always have a good time on the phone (we always have a good time anywhere). But this time, though we left laughing I was struck by the fact that my mom's getting old and nearly reaching the autumn of her years. I hate thinking about it but she seems only too ready to get to that stage and live out the rest of her years.

I almost disliked her for it because I have abandonment issues.

She went on and on about how she can't wait to retire and how she's going to spend her time, out among her mango trees, or greeting guests and friends at her little Philippines resort and restaurant. heh. She wasn't sure whether she should call the latter "Michelle and Michael's".

I felt a little left out of it and guilty that I don't spend enough time with her and I know that when she goes I will regret not doing enough with her but what can I do? Call her everyday? She and I both know that that would annoy both of us, besides, what can we talk about everyday? I like our two weeks worth of phone calls crammed into two hours. It's just that I don't want her to become inactive and befriending the roofers* because she has nothing to keep her life fulfilled. I'm glad that she does have plans and interests after nursing but I also know that she loves her job and it's something she's done since she was in her early 20's and to stop after 40 years is intense and strange.

What it really comes down to is that I don't like to see her get old and to see one of my in-laws wandering around doing what is the equivalent to nothing, and seeing him deteriorate before our eyes is somewhat scary. He used to lead a busy, scheduled life and I know he enjoys the idea of retirement but to go from doing something 9-5 everday, to nothing, ( this may seem like paradise for some) I can tell you that I am witness to the devil in his idle hands.

I used to hate the idea of getting old and frail and somewhere in there I learned that I can't hate something that is just natural and continual. There is nothing I can do about it and nothing I want to do about it. I don't think I could or would search for or take an anti-aging/anti-death serum because eventually people just get on your nerves and you wish they would die anyway, so better that they do and have you keep happy memories than bitter angry real life interactions.

Where did this blog end up? I don't even know anymore and I'm getting late so I better run. Toodles.

Me.

*This refers to the in-law stated a few paragraphs up.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Blog Withdrawal

Hey there, I know you all are probably just getting through that evil withdrawal stage and might just be getting a few chills but just when you think you've finally overcome the hellegood blog here I am again. I am here to diminish your hunger pangs, headaches and muscle cramps. I'm going to give you a little shot and get you feeling better again. Sorry I've been busy and although a few things have occurred that I wanted to blog about, I have since forgotten the details.

A few notices:

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince will be available, for those who care to know, on July 16th at 12:01 AM. If I had a bookstore less than 5 miles away I would be there at their midnight party...

Hurricane Dennis is on its way up and we may see it in two days. Of course it would land on a weekend, the only time I work. I find that joyous, and to think of all the people I will have to deal with that want their money back because of the hurricane. Oh man I love FL.

I spent the fourth of July alone in the house with Rich, celebrating quietly. I also used the pool for the first time and it was set at 85 degrees. It still felt chilly and I got some water in my ear, even with plugs, and for a bit I went deaf. Hope you all had a good time.

Tom Cruise only appears to be maniacal and off his rocker because of K. Holmes. He's c-struck. I'll let someone else explain that part.

Umm, that's it for now. I'll try to blog tomorrow.


Me.