I love how things that are trivial in hindsight hold so much weight and prominence while it occurs. And doing so only helps to create even more embarrassment and shame when we look back on the high esteem we've heaped upon it. Unless of course you are above looking back on actions with any emotion. Pehaps you see it as the past, something to learn from and not something to worry over because it's done. "What's done is done" as my mother likes to say. I, however, still cringe at the thought of things that occurred in the past that should have been handled less emotionally. But we creatures (women) are emotional, are we not? One another strain...there is this poem called "The Bean Eaters" by Gwendolyn Brooks from her book The Bean Eaters that I like very much. Here it tis:

They eat beans mostly, this old yellow pair.
Dinner is a casual affair.
Plain chipware on a plain and creaking wood,
Tin flatware.

Two who are Mostly Good.
Two who have lived their day,
But keep on putting on their clothes
And putting things away.

And remembering . . .
Remembering, with twinklings and twinges,
As they lean over the beans in their rented back room that
is full of beads and receipts and dolls and cloths,
tobacco crumbs, vases and fringes. --

That's how I'd like to imagine everyone will come to (though perhaps not as poor)...but with rememberings. And the "twinklings and twinges" recalls the lines I first wrote on holding things in such importance and looking back we twinge and sometimes some memories makes us twinkle. Good good good! I am now reading Black Water by Joyce Carol Oates. I've just read Marya by her and though it was very well written I did not like the work but I'll give her the old college try...haha. I'll keep you posted on how it was. My next book is The Sun Also Rises by Hemingway. I dislike Hemingway from "Hills Like White Elephants" that we are forced to read in every year of high school and so on but maybe this is good? no? I heard it wasn't but I'll say no more til i've given it a once over. Note: You should read everything twice (at least) you miss so much the first time, and you've gone through more that by the time you read a second time you'll find something else to capture you and it's a new book always. The reader reads the book but the book also reads the reader. Wise! haha See y'all soon and be good!
Me