Hyde and Seek

Had a weird nightmare a few nights ago. Do you guys remember Hyde from "That 70's Show"?


Well, in this nightmare he was my gynecologist and he was "checking the goods" with this aparatus that reminded me of that mini hands-free vacuum that the dentist hooks into your mouth to suck up the spit, except that this had a cotton swab at the end, I guess to strain any big pieces. And I kept insisting that he couldn't do it because I was on my period. I couldn't move, and all I could do was say "no" and he still did it, and it hurt a little, and the aparatus would just suck up red, red blood.

Later that day I told Rich about it and he shrugged it off. But while I was telling him, it dawned on me that my scared mind had transposed a not so scary image over the truth!! Hyde doesn't scare me, in fact, I could probably take him down since he's mostly high anyway (I know he's just a character, bear with me as I descend into lunacy). So, what I realized, as Rich and I walked to our car, from the gym, was that, I had been abducted by aliens and they were retrieving the tiny baby that they had implanted me with so that they can raise a race of human-alien babies.

Seriously! Hyde, when I picture him, has a 'fro and sunglasses on. But what it really was, was a big head and large black eyes.



The next day I felt these tiny little twinges of pain in my uterus...

Anniversary

Today Rich and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary. So quickly it's gone by and yet so many things have happened to make it seem as if it were ages ago. We celebrated by eating roast beef sandwiches and eating orange cake with whipped cream frosting. That's sort of how we ended our wedding evening; a trip to Stew Leonard's brought about great mustard and great oranges. Strange happenings that made it all memorable. Today was quiet but lovely, with warm weather (unlike our scarf-wearing, slushed-filled streets wedding day) and a nice sunset. I'm glad I'm married to him. What more can I say?

Exclusively Arboreal

When I was in college I had an English professor (the kind that teaches English not a prof. from England) that would start off each class by having us write whatever into a "journal" and then read from it, at random. One day he pointed at me and asked me to read what I wrote. So I did.

This is what I wrote:

Today the monkeys were submissive and clingy. They let me groom them with my undeft fingers without complaint. They insisted on sitting at either side of my waist and grasped at my neck with a pressure that nearly took me down. They both cooed at me in soft "meet" and eventually fell asleep as I waltzed around the room, dizzyingly, slowly, in time to the music. I undid their sweet little paws, with the fur on the top, and placed them into their cupboard, where they shivered and huddled and napped.

Alright, that's not really what I wrote. I wrote about planting strawberries and my happiness that spring was in the air. But that was not as interesting as my monkeys. How are your monkeys and where have you hidden them?