Saturday, December 29, 2007

"Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry..."

Two days and two hours before this year ends and a new one begins.

I was driving today and thinking. I do my best thinking driving or in the shower.

I was thinking about what happened 8 days ago when we were celebrating Rich's birthday at Wolfgang Puck's with my parents and his parents. At the end of the meal my parents took the check and started to pay when his parents said that they wanted to pay and then there was a brief discussion which ended in a decision to split the check between the two parties. There was a talk between my parents in hushed tagalog about making sure everything was even.

A quick background to this is that our families rarely see one another. The only times they met was when I first moved to college, when I graduated college, when we got married and Rich's most recent birthday. I think growing up (in my household) there was a slight unease towards anyone not of Filipino descent. "Other" people were something to be wary of so that their anger or uncomfortable display of emotions were not brought forth.

I'm not sure yet as to what bothered me about this. Could it be the fact that each party does not know one another well and to watch their interactions makes me uncomfortable, the accents make it harder for each to understand the other? Maybe it's just the pre-existing wariness I could sense from my parents towards non-Filipinos? I'll have to ponder this further.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've never seen any sign of prejudice towards any group from my father. It may exist, I've just never seen it. My mother is likely to stereotype people from other groups (not necessarily "negative" stereotypes). Neither have issues with interacting/befriending those of different groups as far as I am aware.

when a tiger attacks a gazelle, it can be hard to watch with the wrong perspective. if you really like kitties or like to eat freshly hunted deer you may cheer for the tiger. You may even cheer for the cycle of life and the process taking place. But with the wrong perspective, you sit disturbed while crying for the caught gazelle.

I look at interactions between my parents and others as just another aspect of life. They aren't perfect and neither are the people they're interacting with. It's just the cycle of life - so no reason to feel bothered about the interactions.

Anonymous said...

Remember too, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

I'd look at this as a duty to bring together those that may not otherwise unite in friendship.