Jokes of the Day
Oh before the jokes... there's a new poll!
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced
each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from
Heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them,
"that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring
you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do
anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel
brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for
the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling,
laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the
two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking
knowingly.
Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male
statue and said, "Great! Only this time YOU hold the pigeon down
and I'll shit on its head."
-------------------------------------------------
Just to make up for not having any in a few weeks:
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to
broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their
eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine
cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits.
One day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers,
more flavors than you could ever imagine. "Children, I'd like
you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher.
Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of
cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put
honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the
children was stumped.
"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your
Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."
Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his
mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"
haha.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Oh My Tired, Aching Limbs!
Well whaddaya know? I returned to Massachusetts on Sunday for various obligations... but I had to return to Nueva York on Monday! for a very important obligation: JURY DUTY. Yes, you heard right. While I was there for Mike's graduation, I did try to deal with it but it seems that no one will help you. I couldn't call anyone, it's all automated, and when I got there the person to help me was not there. They did tell me that I should return on the day of and show whoever my driver's license (Massachusetts) as proof. Well on Sunday I convinced Rich to take a drive down with me on Monday morning... at 3:30 in the morning. (I had to be there by 8:30). To make a long story short, we got there at exactly 8:30, after monday morning traffic, and I had to sit with these people, summoned for jury duty, for an hour! before someone could hear my case, and once they did they dismissed me with no problems, in a matter of seconds. I left Rich in the car and found him enjoying the Stern Show on the radio and watching the view of the White Plains library. We drove back to my house and used the bathroom, took my mom for a quick drive, while she chattered along about her trip to Atlantic City, then we all said goodbye and I drove back at 11. We stopped several times on the way because I was so tired. Last stop we went to this rest area and I fell asleep and woke up 20 minutes later choking and refreshed. heh. We got home at 3:30 and I immediately went to sleep. Woke up a few hours later hungry for dinner and found Rich asleep next to me, he didn't get up til much later. But yah, that's all. I gotta run... although I can't go running because it's that time of the month again! Everything is in pain! What's new?
Have a great day everyone!
Me
Well whaddaya know? I returned to Massachusetts on Sunday for various obligations... but I had to return to Nueva York on Monday! for a very important obligation: JURY DUTY. Yes, you heard right. While I was there for Mike's graduation, I did try to deal with it but it seems that no one will help you. I couldn't call anyone, it's all automated, and when I got there the person to help me was not there. They did tell me that I should return on the day of and show whoever my driver's license (Massachusetts) as proof. Well on Sunday I convinced Rich to take a drive down with me on Monday morning... at 3:30 in the morning. (I had to be there by 8:30). To make a long story short, we got there at exactly 8:30, after monday morning traffic, and I had to sit with these people, summoned for jury duty, for an hour! before someone could hear my case, and once they did they dismissed me with no problems, in a matter of seconds. I left Rich in the car and found him enjoying the Stern Show on the radio and watching the view of the White Plains library. We drove back to my house and used the bathroom, took my mom for a quick drive, while she chattered along about her trip to Atlantic City, then we all said goodbye and I drove back at 11. We stopped several times on the way because I was so tired. Last stop we went to this rest area and I fell asleep and woke up 20 minutes later choking and refreshed. heh. We got home at 3:30 and I immediately went to sleep. Woke up a few hours later hungry for dinner and found Rich asleep next to me, he didn't get up til much later. But yah, that's all. I gotta run... although I can't go running because it's that time of the month again! Everything is in pain! What's new?
Have a great day everyone!
Me
Saturday, June 26, 2004
So today is the day of the party. I have to work on my sermon, run on the track and buy heavy cream...whichever comes first. Most likely the track running thing is what I'll be doing first, most likely right after this post. Yesterday I went and ran in the park for about 7 minutes and only completed 2/3 of the park. I jogged the rest and jogged around once more for good measure. Felt good. What doesn't feel good is the fact that I had to march up a steep incline on my way home, and the closer I got to the top the closer my legs and head met. It was vertical! And the painful part is that my ankles are now a little sore whenever I lift my feet up to go up stairs or tiptoe. But I felt I had accomplished something. And I am psyched to go running the track today. Not as pretty as the park, mind you, it will be missing the serene water pond and the two bridges where one has a nice little waterfall to run over. It smells a little stale though the water is flowing, and there's a smell of moss and ozone (is this the correct term?) over the bridge.
Tonight there will be a party in honor of all the graduates. Congratulations all!! I will try and learn all the new steps tonight. Woohoo Filipino line dancing! Oh and congrats to Mike in the talent show. You shoulda won, but it was a bit biased so I didn't expect too much from it! Ever watch the Chappelle show, the one with John Meyers? That should explain it all. Okay I gotta get running.
Oh and a note to the person who left a comment yesterday...I don't know who you are, and I have no idea what business it is of yours on my safety, but thanks... you must really love me! heh. oh and also the park was filled with only old people on their daily walks. There was so many of them I had to keep dodging them and they insist on saying "hello" and "good morning" even though they can see I'm too out of breath to say either. No one else was around, but thanks for your concern.
Have a wonderfully uber day all! It looks like it's threatening rain!
Me
Tonight there will be a party in honor of all the graduates. Congratulations all!! I will try and learn all the new steps tonight. Woohoo Filipino line dancing! Oh and congrats to Mike in the talent show. You shoulda won, but it was a bit biased so I didn't expect too much from it! Ever watch the Chappelle show, the one with John Meyers? That should explain it all. Okay I gotta get running.
Oh and a note to the person who left a comment yesterday...I don't know who you are, and I have no idea what business it is of yours on my safety, but thanks... you must really love me! heh. oh and also the park was filled with only old people on their daily walks. There was so many of them I had to keep dodging them and they insist on saying "hello" and "good morning" even though they can see I'm too out of breath to say either. No one else was around, but thanks for your concern.
Have a wonderfully uber day all! It looks like it's threatening rain!
Me
Friday, June 25, 2004
So I have some running to make up since someone didn't get to do it yesterday! I was busy alright!? Yup, so I will go as soon as I finish this blog. Run run run...ooh what fun fun fun. Maybe instead of the track I'll go down to the park. Mike says there's some class today because they have to pick up report cards and he has to pick up his actual diploma. I don't want to run around a track if a bunch of teenagers will be there ogling me, or just around in general. Running is a private thing. heh. So I will strap on my sneakers and take a nice warm up walk to the park, run then jog then cool down walk home. Sounds good to me. See y'all later.
Mike's competition is on tonight. good luck Mikey! I'm not sure about first place but I think he will place. ew. it's humid as heck. gotta go!
Have a wonderful day everyone!
Me.
Mike's competition is on tonight. good luck Mikey! I'm not sure about first place but I think he will place. ew. it's humid as heck. gotta go!
Have a wonderful day everyone!
Me.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
It's been really nice, weatherwise, around here.
I'm not used to getting up in the middle of the night only to stumble around in the dark, through the kitchen, down to the family room and down to the bathroom. Haha, i must be a sight, one eye open, arm out in front of me, trying to keep balance, making my way through the house.
It's a pretty day out now. I think Mike and I will go thrift shop lurking...heh. Don't ask. Around 4:30 Mike's got a dress rehearsal for his singing competition so I will attend that. I'll use the track later in the day, it's already too hot now to use it. I got yelled at for not "running" and only for jogging. I jogged it three times and walked it twice! In that heat I was drenched! then Mike and I sat around watching a little league game and other people around, like the scary runner who looked as if his goal was to chase little girls on bikes. So... hey if any one in NY reads this, we should go cherry picking tomorrow... I gotta go to Mike's final competition tomorrow, but it's later in the day, and I haven't been cherry picking in 10 years! Now I'll be able to drive! Whoo. hehe. Gotta go. See y'all later.
Have a wonderfully great day!!
Me
I'm not used to getting up in the middle of the night only to stumble around in the dark, through the kitchen, down to the family room and down to the bathroom. Haha, i must be a sight, one eye open, arm out in front of me, trying to keep balance, making my way through the house.
It's a pretty day out now. I think Mike and I will go thrift shop lurking...heh. Don't ask. Around 4:30 Mike's got a dress rehearsal for his singing competition so I will attend that. I'll use the track later in the day, it's already too hot now to use it. I got yelled at for not "running" and only for jogging. I jogged it three times and walked it twice! In that heat I was drenched! then Mike and I sat around watching a little league game and other people around, like the scary runner who looked as if his goal was to chase little girls on bikes. So... hey if any one in NY reads this, we should go cherry picking tomorrow... I gotta go to Mike's final competition tomorrow, but it's later in the day, and I haven't been cherry picking in 10 years! Now I'll be able to drive! Whoo. hehe. Gotta go. See y'all later.
Have a wonderfully great day!!
Me
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
So Mike and I went to Wendy’s last night. I know, I know, and I try to discourage fast food habits from developing…however, that is not the point of this blog. The point is I’ve never noticed how many overweight people there are in this world. Everyone on line was, in my opinion obese. I probably never noticed before since if I do have the urge to eat that stuff I usually go through the drive thru. By the way, Wendy’s is off my list. They got rid of my favorite grilled chicken sandwich and replaced it with a similar counterpart that wasn’t as tasty. Now I’m not putting ‘em down since I gained 15 pounds from what I used to be, I’m making up for it now because after this mi madre and I will be using the track. Funny enough, when I saw her this morning she smiles and says “how are you?” and then says, “do you wanna walk around with me?” Now I took her to mean her garden which is in summer splendor, and a favorite thing for us to do (walk around the garden inspecting plants, that is). I said, “where?” since I had jogging on my mind, but she replied, “oh around the track,” and so I consented since it’s better to walk around 8 times with mom than jog alone twice. Good thing I have a mom who’s not only willing but actually suggested it. I know she read my mind. Heh.
Oh one last thing before I go, I had to get a couple of things from my car, so stepping out I noticed that the air had a very humid quality, it also smelled like sea air. I said to mom, “oh doesn’t it smell like the ocean out here?” she then replied, “oh they just picked up the garbage, maybe you’re smelling fish.” Haha. Mom always said she wasn’t romantic. Now I see her point. By the way, today’s Mike’s graduation and so I’ll be off before noon to hear my- erm his speech. Dad said there was something missing and I agreed. I really didn’t have the time to look it over before he handed it in to be inspected, but that’s neither here nor there. And I have to get out of here and head over there. Fight the bulge!
It’s supposed to be beautiful today. Have a great one everyone. Oh happy belated Summer!
Me
Ooh update… so we are back from Mike’s graduation and lunch. It was nice. They held it at the Westchester convention center, and we were kept awake with the air conditioner but in actuality it only lasted about an hour and a little more. Mike said his speech and it was received well, much better than the poor valedictorian who had a thick accent and spoke so low we had to strain over the murmuring parents to hear her, not to mention that her family sat behind us and they smelled as if they didn’t know what deodorant was. But finally the calling of the names, the marching on stage, the throw of caps, and out again into the glaring sunlight.
We went over to Mamaroneck to eat at this restaurant called the Bangkok Thai Restaurant. Mmm, delicious. I can see why they were in the Zagat’s survey. A few things, it’s an unassuming little restaurant on a strip, and really very few seats. Also they closed from 3-5, and we got there sometime around 2, (we found out that they closed during that time because that’s when they had their lunch, and then mom waits to tell us that she and friends had eaten there and one of her friends only gave a 10% tip and was yelled at by the waitress who said the least she shoulda given was 15%, how embarrassing. But the woman was friendly towards us... heh
We had an appetizer of hot wings “thai style”, then entrees (family style) we had gad yang (I hope I spelled that right,) it was just half of a chicken fried and served with a sauce, there was the Padh Cashew Nuts (chicken and cashews), Koong Rama (shrimps sautéed with onions, sweet peppers, pineapples, celery, scallions and cashew nuts in roasted chili paste) and tiger cries (which was sliced beef, sorta bbq flavor) but it was all good. I noticed that all of it was slightly sweet and very spicy, but it was good. By the time we were done I couldn't get up. I wouldn't be surprised if I learned that I had gained another 15 pounds! And then home. I’m tired! I think I’ll nappy nap. Hey there’s a show on tonight on NBC called “THEM” at 8. Don’t miss it if you’re a magic fan.
Toodles again!
Me.
Oh one last thing before I go, I had to get a couple of things from my car, so stepping out I noticed that the air had a very humid quality, it also smelled like sea air. I said to mom, “oh doesn’t it smell like the ocean out here?” she then replied, “oh they just picked up the garbage, maybe you’re smelling fish.” Haha. Mom always said she wasn’t romantic. Now I see her point. By the way, today’s Mike’s graduation and so I’ll be off before noon to hear my- erm his speech. Dad said there was something missing and I agreed. I really didn’t have the time to look it over before he handed it in to be inspected, but that’s neither here nor there. And I have to get out of here and head over there. Fight the bulge!
It’s supposed to be beautiful today. Have a great one everyone. Oh happy belated Summer!
Me
Ooh update… so we are back from Mike’s graduation and lunch. It was nice. They held it at the Westchester convention center, and we were kept awake with the air conditioner but in actuality it only lasted about an hour and a little more. Mike said his speech and it was received well, much better than the poor valedictorian who had a thick accent and spoke so low we had to strain over the murmuring parents to hear her, not to mention that her family sat behind us and they smelled as if they didn’t know what deodorant was. But finally the calling of the names, the marching on stage, the throw of caps, and out again into the glaring sunlight.
We went over to Mamaroneck to eat at this restaurant called the Bangkok Thai Restaurant. Mmm, delicious. I can see why they were in the Zagat’s survey. A few things, it’s an unassuming little restaurant on a strip, and really very few seats. Also they closed from 3-5, and we got there sometime around 2, (we found out that they closed during that time because that’s when they had their lunch, and then mom waits to tell us that she and friends had eaten there and one of her friends only gave a 10% tip and was yelled at by the waitress who said the least she shoulda given was 15%, how embarrassing. But the woman was friendly towards us... heh
We had an appetizer of hot wings “thai style”, then entrees (family style) we had gad yang (I hope I spelled that right,) it was just half of a chicken fried and served with a sauce, there was the Padh Cashew Nuts (chicken and cashews), Koong Rama (shrimps sautéed with onions, sweet peppers, pineapples, celery, scallions and cashew nuts in roasted chili paste) and tiger cries (which was sliced beef, sorta bbq flavor) but it was all good. I noticed that all of it was slightly sweet and very spicy, but it was good. By the time we were done I couldn't get up. I wouldn't be surprised if I learned that I had gained another 15 pounds! And then home. I’m tired! I think I’ll nappy nap. Hey there’s a show on tonight on NBC called “THEM” at 8. Don’t miss it if you’re a magic fan.
Toodles again!
Me.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Dodging
I saw the trailer to the new movie "Dodgeball" and a new show on the game show network all about dodgeball (i think it's called "extreme dodgeball"). When I first saw it I was taken aback at how big the balls they used are. I recall playing "dodgeball" from 3rd to 5th grade with "the guys" with little rubber handballs the size of tennis balls. Thos suckers hurt like heck if you were ever hit with it. I used to have a few bruises at the end of the day, although not as many as the rest of them. I used to think it was because I was that good but now that I think about it maybe they didn't hit me 'cause I was a girl. hmm.
I will be in New York the rest of the week, and speaking of dodging, don't think I will be skirting any of my responsibilites "of the run". There is a track below my house at the high school and you can be sure I will be on it in the evenings. You wait! I will lower my run time! But for now I gotta run, not literally. Also I will not be dodging my blogger posts, I'll try to post everyday I'm there. Tomorrow, however, will be hard since it's mike's graduation and it'll be a busy day. I wonder what I should wear...I really have nothing formal. heh. Gotta go all.
Have a wonderful day!!
Me
I saw the trailer to the new movie "Dodgeball" and a new show on the game show network all about dodgeball (i think it's called "extreme dodgeball"). When I first saw it I was taken aback at how big the balls they used are. I recall playing "dodgeball" from 3rd to 5th grade with "the guys" with little rubber handballs the size of tennis balls. Thos suckers hurt like heck if you were ever hit with it. I used to have a few bruises at the end of the day, although not as many as the rest of them. I used to think it was because I was that good but now that I think about it maybe they didn't hit me 'cause I was a girl. hmm.
I will be in New York the rest of the week, and speaking of dodging, don't think I will be skirting any of my responsibilites "of the run". There is a track below my house at the high school and you can be sure I will be on it in the evenings. You wait! I will lower my run time! But for now I gotta run, not literally. Also I will not be dodging my blogger posts, I'll try to post everyday I'm there. Tomorrow, however, will be hard since it's mike's graduation and it'll be a busy day. I wonder what I should wear...I really have nothing formal. heh. Gotta go all.
Have a wonderful day!!
Me
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Sunday...
Hey there all! Happy Father's Day, fazza! It's beautiful out, I hope it doesn't get too hot, I like it in the 70's and no hotter, or if it's hot then I hope it's not too humid. I heard they (the families) were celebrating Father's day over by Rye Playland, with a picnic and amusements. Sounds fun, I love amusement parks. I saw this documentary last night on PBS, about amusement parks around the US and found out that Playland is the only park that's owned and operated by the government. Yeah good times. I hope they've got some good food also!
So Sunday again and it's sermon day. I'm all frazzled because, of course, left it all to the last minute. I have some parts written but as usual my problem is the ending. How do I sum it all up? I have to prepare my readings and get it to cohere to my intentions. Problem is most of my readings come from the internet bibles and so they're mostly translated in the King James version, and now I gotta check 'em against our bible* to make sure they are saying the thing I want them to say. I wanted to see if I could also get some readings outside of the bible. It's always fun to compare two or more sources that are not alike. It's easy to say, "well look here in Luke they say this," and then point out, "here in leviticus it says this". It's almost like quoting a guy and then using him to back up your first quote. Anywho, i'm procrastinating. gotta run! Will write mas tarde.
Have a great day everyone!
Me
* Our bible has four "versions" or should I say "Translations" in it. It includes the King James version, the New International Version, the New Living Translation and the New American Standard Bible. I prefer the latter two, you miss out on the King James Version's "thee, thou, thy and hath begotten". New American Standard Bible is a word-for-word translation, while the New Living Translation is a thought-for-thought translation. Both are written in easy to read english, no glorious "thine" and "brethren".
alright gotta run.
Hey there all! Happy Father's Day, fazza! It's beautiful out, I hope it doesn't get too hot, I like it in the 70's and no hotter, or if it's hot then I hope it's not too humid. I heard they (the families) were celebrating Father's day over by Rye Playland, with a picnic and amusements. Sounds fun, I love amusement parks. I saw this documentary last night on PBS, about amusement parks around the US and found out that Playland is the only park that's owned and operated by the government. Yeah good times. I hope they've got some good food also!
So Sunday again and it's sermon day. I'm all frazzled because, of course, left it all to the last minute. I have some parts written but as usual my problem is the ending. How do I sum it all up? I have to prepare my readings and get it to cohere to my intentions. Problem is most of my readings come from the internet bibles and so they're mostly translated in the King James version, and now I gotta check 'em against our bible* to make sure they are saying the thing I want them to say. I wanted to see if I could also get some readings outside of the bible. It's always fun to compare two or more sources that are not alike. It's easy to say, "well look here in Luke they say this," and then point out, "here in leviticus it says this". It's almost like quoting a guy and then using him to back up your first quote. Anywho, i'm procrastinating. gotta run! Will write mas tarde.
Have a great day everyone!
Me
* Our bible has four "versions" or should I say "Translations" in it. It includes the King James version, the New International Version, the New Living Translation and the New American Standard Bible. I prefer the latter two, you miss out on the King James Version's "thee, thou, thy and hath begotten". New American Standard Bible is a word-for-word translation, while the New Living Translation is a thought-for-thought translation. Both are written in easy to read english, no glorious "thine" and "brethren".
alright gotta run.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Joke of the day
Forgive me but I thought some of these were funny...
"Men are better" jokes:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...wedding cake
Forgive me but I thought some of these were funny...
"Men are better" jokes:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...wedding cake
Brought Down
So I've been making improvements in my jogging right? I've tried to increase my speed on the treadmill so that when it comes time to run the field I'd be able to do it in a shorter, faster pace. Yesterday I even concentrated on my breathing and not the runnin and zoned out for a while. So here Rich and I are totally psyched that we're back to our running and that we did real good last time. Yay 7 minutes! Woohoo. Then! Rich tells me yesterday that his hated sister ran a marathon in Cali. A 26 mile marathon! ooh i'll just sign up for a marathon and run it, god and she's kinda chunky too! well she looks chunky...but i think it's because she's really a midget, ya know how little folk always look chunky? whenever she comes around here she breaks the treadmill running on it straight for an hour with the incline set so high i gotta keep my finger on it for a minute before it can go down to the level i want it at! god can you hear the bitterness in my voice? damn! and tomorrow's sermon day too. ahhh. haha. well Rich and I tried to make ourselves feel better by saying that sprinters are better off than marathon runners... i forget why, i'll have to ask him later. hehe. Well i'm off to drown my sorrow in a tub of haagen daz vanilla and almonds ice cream. I will be posting a joke for today. sorry, i had to take a break, those suckers are hard to find.
P.S. does it sound as if theresa wants to break up with Ray?
Have a wonderful, glorious, saturday kiddies!
Me.
So I've been making improvements in my jogging right? I've tried to increase my speed on the treadmill so that when it comes time to run the field I'd be able to do it in a shorter, faster pace. Yesterday I even concentrated on my breathing and not the runnin and zoned out for a while. So here Rich and I are totally psyched that we're back to our running and that we did real good last time. Yay 7 minutes! Woohoo. Then! Rich tells me yesterday that his hated sister ran a marathon in Cali. A 26 mile marathon! ooh i'll just sign up for a marathon and run it, god and she's kinda chunky too! well she looks chunky...but i think it's because she's really a midget, ya know how little folk always look chunky? whenever she comes around here she breaks the treadmill running on it straight for an hour with the incline set so high i gotta keep my finger on it for a minute before it can go down to the level i want it at! god can you hear the bitterness in my voice? damn! and tomorrow's sermon day too. ahhh. haha. well Rich and I tried to make ourselves feel better by saying that sprinters are better off than marathon runners... i forget why, i'll have to ask him later. hehe. Well i'm off to drown my sorrow in a tub of haagen daz vanilla and almonds ice cream. I will be posting a joke for today. sorry, i had to take a break, those suckers are hard to find.
P.S. does it sound as if theresa wants to break up with Ray?
Have a wonderful, glorious, saturday kiddies!
Me.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Improvement
So we went running today, and it was hot and humid. I looked upon that field with a little trepidation since last time I almost had my lung burst. But before going out to the field Rich said that perhaps I was breathing wrong, and then showed me to breathe with my abdomen and not my chest. Well so out on the field Rich quickly sped past and I kept at a constant jogging rate. I focused in on my breathing and that really helped me to forget everything else. Part of the technique, I realized is that I shouldn't look to the "finish line", but focus in on what was in front of me. I was proud of myself because I did not once have to stop to walk and catch my breath, my lungs were not on fire, and I finished the jog a minute earlier than before. Rich and I both improved from before, and though I was soaked with perspiration I felt good. Looking forward to the next bout. Only...my legs were a bit shaky, but I blame the uneven ground. heh.
Oh I saw "The Station Agent" last night. I thought it was good. If the trailer to the movie "Lost in Translation" didn't turn you on then you shouldn't watch this movie. But it was funny and sweet. Two words should sum it up... independent film. Watch it, it's good. Oh yeah, I also saw "Club Dread"... raunchy and funny, scary and gruesome, I enjoyed it. Just beware, there's some nudity. Yeah, it's a spoof on horror movies... ya know, out in the woods, mass murderer on the loose... yeah that was good too. More for a general public than "The Station Agent".
Me
P.S. Does anyone have a phobia of dwarves?
So we went running today, and it was hot and humid. I looked upon that field with a little trepidation since last time I almost had my lung burst. But before going out to the field Rich said that perhaps I was breathing wrong, and then showed me to breathe with my abdomen and not my chest. Well so out on the field Rich quickly sped past and I kept at a constant jogging rate. I focused in on my breathing and that really helped me to forget everything else. Part of the technique, I realized is that I shouldn't look to the "finish line", but focus in on what was in front of me. I was proud of myself because I did not once have to stop to walk and catch my breath, my lungs were not on fire, and I finished the jog a minute earlier than before. Rich and I both improved from before, and though I was soaked with perspiration I felt good. Looking forward to the next bout. Only...my legs were a bit shaky, but I blame the uneven ground. heh.
Oh I saw "The Station Agent" last night. I thought it was good. If the trailer to the movie "Lost in Translation" didn't turn you on then you shouldn't watch this movie. But it was funny and sweet. Two words should sum it up... independent film. Watch it, it's good. Oh yeah, I also saw "Club Dread"... raunchy and funny, scary and gruesome, I enjoyed it. Just beware, there's some nudity. Yeah, it's a spoof on horror movies... ya know, out in the woods, mass murderer on the loose... yeah that was good too. More for a general public than "The Station Agent".
Me
P.S. Does anyone have a phobia of dwarves?
It's All Butter
Yeah so we're gonna go running in a bit. I think someone needs it...especially after eating a whole loaf cake from Entenmann's in one sitting! You know who you are...i wont name names. All I'll say is, that loaf cake sure had a nice buttery flavor, you might even say it was rich.
It's hot! It's humid, I know I'm gonna pass out. And I haven't eaten yet and my stomach's grumbling but I refuse to eat before we go running 'cause i know i'd get cramps or worse! Oy. Yeah will type up a longer post later. Just had someone get disappointed because there was no post, even though that person knew I had a very busy day and night yesterday. I wont name names...
Have a nice cool day everyone. Literally.
Me
Yeah so we're gonna go running in a bit. I think someone needs it...especially after eating a whole loaf cake from Entenmann's in one sitting! You know who you are...i wont name names. All I'll say is, that loaf cake sure had a nice buttery flavor, you might even say it was rich.
It's hot! It's humid, I know I'm gonna pass out. And I haven't eaten yet and my stomach's grumbling but I refuse to eat before we go running 'cause i know i'd get cramps or worse! Oy. Yeah will type up a longer post later. Just had someone get disappointed because there was no post, even though that person knew I had a very busy day and night yesterday. I wont name names...
Have a nice cool day everyone. Literally.
Me
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Nush-nush and 7mph
There's this song by Cassidy & Mashonda Tirfrere-Dean called "Get No Better" in which he sings "Mmmm wit yo sexy self go to my hotel and undress yourself", I don't know how it is anywhere else but here in Boston some of the stations I listen to actually "fix" the 'undress yourself' part and it comes out 'go to my hotel and nush-nush yourself' which makes it sound dirtier than what it is. haha
And on to jogging/running... well like I predicted the heat and humidity would affect me and it did. Yesterday's slightly cooler weather actually made me enjoy running on the treadmill because I like getting a little sweaty, it makes me feel as if I'm actually accomplishing something. heh. So in this mood I bumped it up to 7mph and ran for a few when I started getting the burning lungs sensation, so I had to put it back down. I'm a bit embarrassed because some people can run a 6 minute mile and I can only do double that! ugh. And running 7mph doesn't even come close. It's only an 8 1/2 minute mile. My goal is a ten minute mile, but I know I wont be reaching that any time soon, especially in this heat! I was on for a minute and I was already drenched. yuck. Gotta go.
Me
There's this song by Cassidy & Mashonda Tirfrere-Dean called "Get No Better" in which he sings "Mmmm wit yo sexy self go to my hotel and undress yourself", I don't know how it is anywhere else but here in Boston some of the stations I listen to actually "fix" the 'undress yourself' part and it comes out 'go to my hotel and nush-nush yourself' which makes it sound dirtier than what it is. haha
And on to jogging/running... well like I predicted the heat and humidity would affect me and it did. Yesterday's slightly cooler weather actually made me enjoy running on the treadmill because I like getting a little sweaty, it makes me feel as if I'm actually accomplishing something. heh. So in this mood I bumped it up to 7mph and ran for a few when I started getting the burning lungs sensation, so I had to put it back down. I'm a bit embarrassed because some people can run a 6 minute mile and I can only do double that! ugh. And running 7mph doesn't even come close. It's only an 8 1/2 minute mile. My goal is a ten minute mile, but I know I wont be reaching that any time soon, especially in this heat! I was on for a minute and I was already drenched. yuck. Gotta go.
Me
Monday, June 14, 2004
Fixer Upper
This post concerns the previous poll on "What do you do when something breaks". My answer was someone else in the house fixed it. Mom always complained how dad wasn't the "handyman" that her father was and that she wished she had married a man who knew how to fix things. When I met Rich, of course the fact that whether he could or could not fix something was not really top priority, however, when I realized that he was quite the handyman I was really impressed. The guy can actually fix stuff! One time...heh, he accidentally "broke" the sink disposal (it's called the in-sink-erator...haha) by throwing pebbles in it and he took it apart and fixed it. I just stood by in awe. haha. I always boast to my mom that he's handy but i don't know if she believes me. Rich also installed the new doorlocks (where one did not exist, meaning drilling out a hole in the door etc.) and he did build his own computer. He mentioned how as a kid he took things apart and tinkered around... what can I say? He's good with his hands. heh. Now that I have it I would definitely miss it if i didn't have it. Makes him seem more manly in my eyes. haha. Better than having some plumber or guy coming around your house and accidentally catching a glance at their loose pants and crack... ew.
haha. okay all night night. Funny enough Rich tells me that I look good in his eyes when I make him food...haha and that leads us to our joke of the day!
One day a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken and she was missing her shows.
"Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?" he asked.
"No," she said.
A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous.
"Does it say carpender anywhere on my forehead?" he asked.
"No," she said again.
A few minutes later she came back and told him the toilet was backed up.
"Does it say plumber anywhere on my forehead?" he asked.
"No," she replied.
A couple of days later he went on a buisness trip.
When he came back he asked how things had been.
"Well," she said, "our neighboor down the street came over and fixes our TV, repaired our porch and unclogged our pipes."
"What did he ask for in payment?" he wondered.
"All he asked for was a chocolate cake or sex," she told him.
"What kind of cake did you make?" he asked.
She looked at him smugly and said:
"Do you see Betty Crocker written anywhere on my forehead?"
Night everyone!
Me
This post concerns the previous poll on "What do you do when something breaks". My answer was someone else in the house fixed it. Mom always complained how dad wasn't the "handyman" that her father was and that she wished she had married a man who knew how to fix things. When I met Rich, of course the fact that whether he could or could not fix something was not really top priority, however, when I realized that he was quite the handyman I was really impressed. The guy can actually fix stuff! One time...heh, he accidentally "broke" the sink disposal (it's called the in-sink-erator...haha) by throwing pebbles in it and he took it apart and fixed it. I just stood by in awe. haha. I always boast to my mom that he's handy but i don't know if she believes me. Rich also installed the new doorlocks (where one did not exist, meaning drilling out a hole in the door etc.) and he did build his own computer. He mentioned how as a kid he took things apart and tinkered around... what can I say? He's good with his hands. heh. Now that I have it I would definitely miss it if i didn't have it. Makes him seem more manly in my eyes. haha. Better than having some plumber or guy coming around your house and accidentally catching a glance at their loose pants and crack... ew.
haha. okay all night night. Funny enough Rich tells me that I look good in his eyes when I make him food...haha and that leads us to our joke of the day!
One day a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken and she was missing her shows.
"Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?" he asked.
"No," she said.
A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous.
"Does it say carpender anywhere on my forehead?" he asked.
"No," she said again.
A few minutes later she came back and told him the toilet was backed up.
"Does it say plumber anywhere on my forehead?" he asked.
"No," she replied.
A couple of days later he went on a buisness trip.
When he came back he asked how things had been.
"Well," she said, "our neighboor down the street came over and fixes our TV, repaired our porch and unclogged our pipes."
"What did he ask for in payment?" he wondered.
"All he asked for was a chocolate cake or sex," she told him.
"What kind of cake did you make?" he asked.
She looked at him smugly and said:
"Do you see Betty Crocker written anywhere on my forehead?"
Night everyone!
Me
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Odds and Ends
Hey does Ray Charles end it? Ya know, they come in threes? So Tony Randall (May 19), Ronald Reagan, and Ray Charles? They were all performers, they all have "R" in their name... Yeah.
So no running today, Rich is still sore. I'm busy typing up a few things, my sermon being one of them. I really shouldn't try to scramble at the end of the week. I should write it little by little during the week... but old habits are hard to break. That's what I did in school too. Only a few times did I ever do that (writing out an assignment waaaay in advance) and I came up with the conclusion, after receiving a B for the assignment, that I was better off waiting til the end of the week to write it all up. I tried it out for the next assignment and procrastinated and received an A. Voila! Instant success. heh.
It looks as if it will be a pleasant day today. Oh, for three nights in a row I had these "nightmares" in which Rich threatens me if I leave him. The first one he placed this bad-aid looking thing on my hand and told me that he had it wired up remotely and if I were to ever leave him then all he had to was press the button and my hand would flop around violently until it was broken. I couldn't take the bandage off either or else the same thing would happen. I told Rich the dream and if I complain to him about something he'd raise his hand and flop it around as a reminder. heh. The second dream was one where he chased me around and I ran to the room but he stuck his foot in the door and I had to punch at his face so he'd back off, but then he took my cat and said he'd kill her if i didn't come out. The third one I just remember him chasing me some dark alley. Strange huh?
Alright that's it for now! Write more later! I will change the poll too.
Have a great day everyone.
Me
Hey does Ray Charles end it? Ya know, they come in threes? So Tony Randall (May 19), Ronald Reagan, and Ray Charles? They were all performers, they all have "R" in their name... Yeah.
So no running today, Rich is still sore. I'm busy typing up a few things, my sermon being one of them. I really shouldn't try to scramble at the end of the week. I should write it little by little during the week... but old habits are hard to break. That's what I did in school too. Only a few times did I ever do that (writing out an assignment waaaay in advance) and I came up with the conclusion, after receiving a B for the assignment, that I was better off waiting til the end of the week to write it all up. I tried it out for the next assignment and procrastinated and received an A. Voila! Instant success. heh.
It looks as if it will be a pleasant day today. Oh, for three nights in a row I had these "nightmares" in which Rich threatens me if I leave him. The first one he placed this bad-aid looking thing on my hand and told me that he had it wired up remotely and if I were to ever leave him then all he had to was press the button and my hand would flop around violently until it was broken. I couldn't take the bandage off either or else the same thing would happen. I told Rich the dream and if I complain to him about something he'd raise his hand and flop it around as a reminder. heh. The second dream was one where he chased me around and I ran to the room but he stuck his foot in the door and I had to punch at his face so he'd back off, but then he took my cat and said he'd kill her if i didn't come out. The third one I just remember him chasing me some dark alley. Strange huh?
Alright that's it for now! Write more later! I will change the poll too.
Have a great day everyone.
Me
Joke of the Day
A young man graduated from University of Arkansas with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper who hired him was to write a human interest story.
Being from Arkansas, he went back to the country to do his research. He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer and proceeded to explain to him why he was there. The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"
The farmer thought for a minute and said, "Yep! One time one of my neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a big posse and found it. We all screwed it and took it back home."
"I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that happened that made you or a lot of other people happy?"
After another moment, the farmer said, "Yeah, one time my neighbor's daughter, a good looking girl, got lost. We formed a big posse that time and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home."
Again, the young man said "I can't print that either. Has anything ever happened around here that made you sad?"
The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed and after a few seconds looked up timidly at the young man and said, "I got lost once."
A young man graduated from University of Arkansas with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper who hired him was to write a human interest story.
Being from Arkansas, he went back to the country to do his research. He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer and proceeded to explain to him why he was there. The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"
The farmer thought for a minute and said, "Yep! One time one of my neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a big posse and found it. We all screwed it and took it back home."
"I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that happened that made you or a lot of other people happy?"
After another moment, the farmer said, "Yeah, one time my neighbor's daughter, a good looking girl, got lost. We formed a big posse that time and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home."
Again, the young man said "I can't print that either. Has anything ever happened around here that made you sad?"
The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed and after a few seconds looked up timidly at the young man and said, "I got lost once."
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Blog Peeve
I hate when I had something to blog about and I completely forget it. Anyway... so how's the weather? Yeah. Mmm hmm. Well just to start it off I saw this commercial recently about these new oral-b brush things. It's this thing that you put on your finger for brushing on the go. Like after you've had some lunch or coffee and you need to brush your teeth. I think they're called "brush ups" or something like that. At first I said "ew" but now that I think about it, it's a good idea. Oh speaking of brushing, I got this new toothpaste by Tom's of Maine, that's a gel and has a whitener and I think it's actually making my teeth white. heh. Or maybe it's just the lighting. I've never really noticed before until I got this new stuff. Oh yeah, so day after the running fiasco and I'm feeling good. I don't treadmill on Saturday just 'cause it's busy and I can't. Tomorrow might be another stint around the field. Rich says he's sore in the calves and legs and back, I, however, am not sore at all. Well... there is a little sensation in my thighs when I lift them up high walking but it's not soreness or anything. heh. Okay I guess that's it for tonight. Night night all!
Have a great night
Me.
I hate when I had something to blog about and I completely forget it. Anyway... so how's the weather? Yeah. Mmm hmm. Well just to start it off I saw this commercial recently about these new oral-b brush things. It's this thing that you put on your finger for brushing on the go. Like after you've had some lunch or coffee and you need to brush your teeth. I think they're called "brush ups" or something like that. At first I said "ew" but now that I think about it, it's a good idea. Oh speaking of brushing, I got this new toothpaste by Tom's of Maine, that's a gel and has a whitener and I think it's actually making my teeth white. heh. Or maybe it's just the lighting. I've never really noticed before until I got this new stuff. Oh yeah, so day after the running fiasco and I'm feeling good. I don't treadmill on Saturday just 'cause it's busy and I can't. Tomorrow might be another stint around the field. Rich says he's sore in the calves and legs and back, I, however, am not sore at all. Well... there is a little sensation in my thighs when I lift them up high walking but it's not soreness or anything. heh. Okay I guess that's it for tonight. Night night all!
Have a great night
Me.
Friday, June 11, 2004
Take My Breath Away
So Rich and I went running this morning around the field. Mind you that I try to jog everyday for about a mile and a quarter, with warm up and cool down(on the treadmill), so I saw that measly field as no challenge and I even told Rich that we could probably go around it twice. So we were under way and since he runs faster than I do he took the lead. About halfway through the field I almost passed out! My lungs were on fire and I was panting! That's when thoughts of perhaps having an asthma attack came into my head and Rich was going around a bend and I couldn't spot him. I slowed to a walk and breathed deeply. I realized that I was breathing in and out of my mouth and not in through my nose out with my mouth, when I tried it it seemed to ease the burning in my lungs and I went back to jogging but it still hurt. My God how huge the field seemed! Finally I saw the end of it all and I had to slow to a walk again because the burning started up again. When I got there Rich asked me if I was okay and to guess how long our little run took. Well I guessed that mine was about 8 minutes and I was correct, which was a bit of a shock to me since on the treadmill I would go double that time and just be sweaty, but not half dead. Rich ran it about two minutes before me and he said his throat was on fire too. We came up with the conclusion that we were seriously out of shape. haha Now I gotta get into "field running" shape and hopefully the treadmill will help. I'll have to punch it up to 10mph. ahhh! haha I remember earlier in our lives we used to go jogging everyday by the beach and do it with steep hills and loose gravel and do it for half and hour without nearly passing out and now with nice soft, flat grass I couldn't do it for 8 minutes. Christ, what's become of us? haha. Well it'll only get worse with the heat coming on and the humidity slowing us down. Can I do it? Nike tells me to "Just do it"... too bad I wear New Balances. heh.
Me.
P.S.
Saw "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" and it was better than the first two, by a long shot. Maybe because it was a better director. And the artistry shots were better than the first two too. I give it 3 and 1/2 stars (outta 4). Have a great day everyone!
ditto.
So Rich and I went running this morning around the field. Mind you that I try to jog everyday for about a mile and a quarter, with warm up and cool down(on the treadmill), so I saw that measly field as no challenge and I even told Rich that we could probably go around it twice. So we were under way and since he runs faster than I do he took the lead. About halfway through the field I almost passed out! My lungs were on fire and I was panting! That's when thoughts of perhaps having an asthma attack came into my head and Rich was going around a bend and I couldn't spot him. I slowed to a walk and breathed deeply. I realized that I was breathing in and out of my mouth and not in through my nose out with my mouth, when I tried it it seemed to ease the burning in my lungs and I went back to jogging but it still hurt. My God how huge the field seemed! Finally I saw the end of it all and I had to slow to a walk again because the burning started up again. When I got there Rich asked me if I was okay and to guess how long our little run took. Well I guessed that mine was about 8 minutes and I was correct, which was a bit of a shock to me since on the treadmill I would go double that time and just be sweaty, but not half dead. Rich ran it about two minutes before me and he said his throat was on fire too. We came up with the conclusion that we were seriously out of shape. haha Now I gotta get into "field running" shape and hopefully the treadmill will help. I'll have to punch it up to 10mph. ahhh! haha I remember earlier in our lives we used to go jogging everyday by the beach and do it with steep hills and loose gravel and do it for half and hour without nearly passing out and now with nice soft, flat grass I couldn't do it for 8 minutes. Christ, what's become of us? haha. Well it'll only get worse with the heat coming on and the humidity slowing us down. Can I do it? Nike tells me to "Just do it"... too bad I wear New Balances. heh.
Me.
P.S.
Saw "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" and it was better than the first two, by a long shot. Maybe because it was a better director. And the artistry shots were better than the first two too. I give it 3 and 1/2 stars (outta 4). Have a great day everyone!
ditto.
Joke of the Day
A redneck farmer living along the coast of California gets rather desperate and decides to try out an old mule.
The farmer gets a ladder from the barn and puts it behind the mule. As he removes his pants, however, the mule walks forward. So, the farmer steps down from the ladder, moves it forward, and then tries again. Again, as he is removing his pants, the mule walks forward the same outcome. This happens twice more before the farmer comes up with a plan.
He steps down from the ladder and leads the mule to the ocean, so the mule can no longer walk forward.
As the farmer is climbing the ladder once again, he hears a cry for help from a woman drowning in the water. So, he jumps off the ladder, swims out to rescue her, and drags her back in.
After he revives the beautiful, nude woman and nurses her back to health, she gazes into his eyes with her limpid blue eyes, and says, "Thank you for saving my life. I am so grateful that I'll do anything to repay you!"
"Anything?" asks the farmer.
"Yes, anything!" repeats the beautiful, nude woman.
The farmer grins and says, "Could you hold that damn mule for me?"
A redneck farmer living along the coast of California gets rather desperate and decides to try out an old mule.
The farmer gets a ladder from the barn and puts it behind the mule. As he removes his pants, however, the mule walks forward. So, the farmer steps down from the ladder, moves it forward, and then tries again. Again, as he is removing his pants, the mule walks forward the same outcome. This happens twice more before the farmer comes up with a plan.
He steps down from the ladder and leads the mule to the ocean, so the mule can no longer walk forward.
As the farmer is climbing the ladder once again, he hears a cry for help from a woman drowning in the water. So, he jumps off the ladder, swims out to rescue her, and drags her back in.
After he revives the beautiful, nude woman and nurses her back to health, she gazes into his eyes with her limpid blue eyes, and says, "Thank you for saving my life. I am so grateful that I'll do anything to repay you!"
"Anything?" asks the farmer.
"Yes, anything!" repeats the beautiful, nude woman.
The farmer grins and says, "Could you hold that damn mule for me?"
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Name Calling
I always think about this because it's such a weird incident. About sometime in January I got this email from another Michelle with the same last name, writing to me because of some mix up. You see, one of my poems is published on the internet... though I must say I didn't give that website any permission to and it's not one of my better poems... but anyway she said that she was the real michelle -- "i think its highly unlikely that there might be someone out there w/ the same name. i do write poems and i send them to my buddys but this is not my work. can i have an explanation to why my name is used in this publication." haha. That's an excerpt from the email, then there was another email when she finally figured out that it was my poem and that she was sorry. So intrigued that someone actually had my name, I contacted her and told her I was filipino...etc. I figured she was Hawaiian because of her email name, but as it turned out she was filipino too but lived in Hawaii. And now I wonder... imagine if she looked like me too? It would be the long lost twin I've always wanted. haha I onced had an emailpal named V-ichelle from the Phils and she was strange, I eventually ended our emails. I didn't like Ally McBeal. heh.
Oh yeah, there's this commercial on tv with these women fumbling and spilling their lunches and drinks in their mad scramble to get their cameras and only one of them had this digital camera and she's the one who manages to take a pic of Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) and it reminds me of the day Rich and I went to our local fishmonger and novelty fruit market, and our monger (hah, i just like that word "monger") asked us if we had seen "Steven Tyler" except with the Boston accent it came out "Tylah", and so I was in this rush to find him around the store, going through the aisles and stuff, but of course I didn't get to see him. Rich said he thought he mighta saw him when we first came in, then he remembered that a member of Aerosmith lives in our little town. But that may not be true. Haha. walking around the store it looked as if people had awed looks on their faces. I just wanted to see if his lips are as big in real life... haha.
Sitting around with three fans blowing on me. Boy it's hot. It's supposed to cool down some tomorrow.
Night night all.
Me
I always think about this because it's such a weird incident. About sometime in January I got this email from another Michelle with the same last name, writing to me because of some mix up. You see, one of my poems is published on the internet... though I must say I didn't give that website any permission to and it's not one of my better poems... but anyway she said that she was the real michelle -- "i think its highly unlikely that there might be someone out there w/ the same name. i do write poems and i send them to my buddys but this is not my work. can i have an explanation to why my name is used in this publication." haha. That's an excerpt from the email, then there was another email when she finally figured out that it was my poem and that she was sorry. So intrigued that someone actually had my name, I contacted her and told her I was filipino...etc. I figured she was Hawaiian because of her email name, but as it turned out she was filipino too but lived in Hawaii. And now I wonder... imagine if she looked like me too? It would be the long lost twin I've always wanted. haha I onced had an emailpal named V-ichelle from the Phils and she was strange, I eventually ended our emails. I didn't like Ally McBeal. heh.
Oh yeah, there's this commercial on tv with these women fumbling and spilling their lunches and drinks in their mad scramble to get their cameras and only one of them had this digital camera and she's the one who manages to take a pic of Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) and it reminds me of the day Rich and I went to our local fishmonger and novelty fruit market, and our monger (hah, i just like that word "monger") asked us if we had seen "Steven Tyler" except with the Boston accent it came out "Tylah", and so I was in this rush to find him around the store, going through the aisles and stuff, but of course I didn't get to see him. Rich said he thought he mighta saw him when we first came in, then he remembered that a member of Aerosmith lives in our little town. But that may not be true. Haha. walking around the store it looked as if people had awed looks on their faces. I just wanted to see if his lips are as big in real life... haha.
Sitting around with three fans blowing on me. Boy it's hot. It's supposed to cool down some tomorrow.
Night night all.
Me
Joke of the Day
One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, "Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"
The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny puts up his hand.
The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for foul language and sexual inuendo, looks for another student to ask. Finally, when no one else raises their hand, she says, "Yes, Johnny?"
"Miss Figpot, it's means lovely."
Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?"
"Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mommy say, 'That's lovely'. Then Daddy said, 'Yep, it's in different.'"
One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, "Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"
The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny puts up his hand.
The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for foul language and sexual inuendo, looks for another student to ask. Finally, when no one else raises their hand, she says, "Yes, Johnny?"
"Miss Figpot, it's means lovely."
Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?"
"Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mommy say, 'That's lovely'. Then Daddy said, 'Yep, it's in different.'"
The Funny Stuff We Say
This morning Rich's mom looked at me and exclaimed "Do you have a teabag in your mouth?"
I have a weird habit of placing the teabags I use for tea into my mouth. I believe all the nutrients have not flowed out and since it's tasty green tea I don't mind. heh. Why is this funny you ask? Click on this site to find out...
Later this afternoon I was looking for the can of almonds I had picked up for Rich at the store and since I couldn't find them I asked him, "Hey Rich, where are your nuts?". I think the above paragraph shoulda answered that question. heh.
Hot today huh?
Me
This morning Rich's mom looked at me and exclaimed "Do you have a teabag in your mouth?"
I have a weird habit of placing the teabags I use for tea into my mouth. I believe all the nutrients have not flowed out and since it's tasty green tea I don't mind. heh. Why is this funny you ask? Click on this site to find out...
Later this afternoon I was looking for the can of almonds I had picked up for Rich at the store and since I couldn't find them I asked him, "Hey Rich, where are your nuts?". I think the above paragraph shoulda answered that question. heh.
Hot today huh?
Me
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Etc. etc. etc.
First off new poll.
Second, yes Julie, I did get your letter and will be mailing one back sometime between tomorrow and Thursday.
Third, weirdest thing happened when playing cards with Rich; first of all this is a spooky deck of cards because no one knows where it came from, I just happened to find it in the pack rat mess of a room that I call mine and they were already opened and shuffled, however I don't recall ever buying a pack of cards... So the first time I found them I kept getting winning hands non-stop, so Rich announced that it was the "devils" pack and creeped out I put them away.
I got into playing texas hold 'em a few weeks back and wanted to teach Rich how to play... rummaged up the cards again, blah blah blah. Then he was reading the little writing on the joker's card and it said something about if this was a defective pack then send the Ace of spades to the manufacturer. I was in the midst of playing my own version of solitaire poker when Rich asked me to hand him the Ace of Spades to which I replied, "just a minute I'm not done playing with the cards" and when I was done I said jokingly, "here's your card," and with a flourish pulled off the top card from the deck and what was it? the Ace of spades. Rich and I were both a little "whoa-ed". So then I said, here, let's try an experiment. I told him to think of a card as I shuffled the deck three times (name it out loud so we could both visualize it) and then I spread them out across the bed and used my finger as a divining rod and asked him to pick a "quadrant" (my own term, they really weren't in quadrants at all... more like thirds), then he would call out "stop" to which I would gather the ten cards, place aside the others, spread the ten and ask him to pick the half he wanted, and from that half we'd have five cards and then we'd use the divining finger to pick the card. We did this four times and had the card every time! By that time we were scared a little. Finally Rich got up and announced that he would not do it any more, so I said, "one more time to break the spell" but his theory was that if we kept it up then the evil magic would only get stronger. But I did it anyway and we didn't get the card we wanted. I think it didn't work because Rich had gotten up and broken the bond. Or the law of statistics finally caught up to us... I don't know, you decide... One final note, we tried the "royalty" cards later on and found that they refused to be found, even the joker card denied us the pleasure of finding it. Fussy little things aren't they? But if gave me the idea of writing a scary story about a deck of cards...
Oh I'm kinda uncomfortable right now. It's so hot and sticky and just plain ole icky. I have two fans blowing at me and I need a nice cool shower. The problem with summer is that if it gets too hot and humid I just end up feeling lethargic. At least it was pretty out. They got the pool opened yesterday and it was nice to look at it from the porch, although in reality I only used that pool less than twenty times last summer. You would think I would have used it every day or something. I like to go swimming later in the day (like around 5 or even 6) for a few reasons. First, I'm used to it because Mom never let us in the pool during the day because she was afraid we'd get burned (yeah I know, we're brown but I have had a sunburn before and it was killer... that was from not listening to mom's advice) and second I have Rich watch me swim because I'm not that great and if I were to get in trouble I need him to save me, but he's terrible under the sun... talk about sunburn... so it's better for him later in the day, third, the pool is inhabited by the other members of the family earlier in the day and I like the pool all to myself. Okay that's enough odds and ends for now. Be good, have a good day!
Me
First off new poll.
Second, yes Julie, I did get your letter and will be mailing one back sometime between tomorrow and Thursday.
Third, weirdest thing happened when playing cards with Rich; first of all this is a spooky deck of cards because no one knows where it came from, I just happened to find it in the pack rat mess of a room that I call mine and they were already opened and shuffled, however I don't recall ever buying a pack of cards... So the first time I found them I kept getting winning hands non-stop, so Rich announced that it was the "devils" pack and creeped out I put them away.
I got into playing texas hold 'em a few weeks back and wanted to teach Rich how to play... rummaged up the cards again, blah blah blah. Then he was reading the little writing on the joker's card and it said something about if this was a defective pack then send the Ace of spades to the manufacturer. I was in the midst of playing my own version of solitaire poker when Rich asked me to hand him the Ace of Spades to which I replied, "just a minute I'm not done playing with the cards" and when I was done I said jokingly, "here's your card," and with a flourish pulled off the top card from the deck and what was it? the Ace of spades. Rich and I were both a little "whoa-ed". So then I said, here, let's try an experiment. I told him to think of a card as I shuffled the deck three times (name it out loud so we could both visualize it) and then I spread them out across the bed and used my finger as a divining rod and asked him to pick a "quadrant" (my own term, they really weren't in quadrants at all... more like thirds), then he would call out "stop" to which I would gather the ten cards, place aside the others, spread the ten and ask him to pick the half he wanted, and from that half we'd have five cards and then we'd use the divining finger to pick the card. We did this four times and had the card every time! By that time we were scared a little. Finally Rich got up and announced that he would not do it any more, so I said, "one more time to break the spell" but his theory was that if we kept it up then the evil magic would only get stronger. But I did it anyway and we didn't get the card we wanted. I think it didn't work because Rich had gotten up and broken the bond. Or the law of statistics finally caught up to us... I don't know, you decide... One final note, we tried the "royalty" cards later on and found that they refused to be found, even the joker card denied us the pleasure of finding it. Fussy little things aren't they? But if gave me the idea of writing a scary story about a deck of cards...
Oh I'm kinda uncomfortable right now. It's so hot and sticky and just plain ole icky. I have two fans blowing at me and I need a nice cool shower. The problem with summer is that if it gets too hot and humid I just end up feeling lethargic. At least it was pretty out. They got the pool opened yesterday and it was nice to look at it from the porch, although in reality I only used that pool less than twenty times last summer. You would think I would have used it every day or something. I like to go swimming later in the day (like around 5 or even 6) for a few reasons. First, I'm used to it because Mom never let us in the pool during the day because she was afraid we'd get burned (yeah I know, we're brown but I have had a sunburn before and it was killer... that was from not listening to mom's advice) and second I have Rich watch me swim because I'm not that great and if I were to get in trouble I need him to save me, but he's terrible under the sun... talk about sunburn... so it's better for him later in the day, third, the pool is inhabited by the other members of the family earlier in the day and I like the pool all to myself. Okay that's enough odds and ends for now. Be good, have a good day!
Me
Monday, June 07, 2004
Religious Discourse
So Rich and I decided that since we don't go to church* we needed to have our own weekly reminders of why we were placed on this planet (to spread God's word and love one another, but also to reach moral perfection and live a life that would get us into the metaphorical heaven). So we claimed Sundays at 1:00 P.M. to be a time for sermons. Before that day arrives we write our own sermons, and pick fitting readings from any place (not just the bible) to back up or add to our sermons. Like last sunday (our first sermon ever) I picked a passage from Ben Franklin's autobiography to illustrate my point on how this journey of creating a "better" self would be somewhat difficult, but with practice and constant vigilance one will be able to conquer one's "demons". I think it's heading in a good direction. We even sing songs (hymns) and if we have time hopefully we can begin reading the New Testament. We've already finished the gospel of Matthew, now we're starting in on Mark. I really would like to make myself a better person, I mean who really doesn't? But it's so hard since we all come in with prejudices and prior perspectives and habits that are hard to get over. I may not go around screaming obscenities and telling you to your face that you're a big dummy but I'm thinking it. That's the part I have to work on. I think what Rich wants out of this is to someday create a little family of followers in which we will all sing and praise the lord, and in which the military might someday bomb us... heh. I really am serious and hopefully I'll live a life that I can be proud of... though pride is something I'd have to work on as well... haha
So have a good night all! God bless.
Me
*We don't go to church for a few reasons... first off I'm used to going to Catholic Church, though I'm not a true Catholic and Rich is not anything, he's been baptized as Unitarian Universalist... yeah never heard of them til I got here (i think I see more of their churches around than anything else). Anyway so it's weird to just go to whatever church and not be a "member" of the congregation. Also, the one time I convinced him to go to the local catholic church, boy were we ever in for a surprise. I felt as if we had stumbled upon the local KKK meeting, instead of a time for worship, prayer, and such. They said the most shocking things about non-white people and I felt a little funny standing there (or sitting there) being brown and all. Then I don't really believe in the whole pope thing so I'm almost a hypocrite for going to a Catholic church when I am home, but please blame my once protestant mother for all those sentiments. Now that I think of it, why did she ever convert? It was for marriage reasons but she didn't need to since dad has never set foot in church since Mike was baptized... gosh I'm rambling. There was a time when they didn't let girls be altar servers... though I went to a grammar school with an open mind and went to an all girls high school, ya know... there weren't any boys. Anyway, so yeah...
So Rich and I decided that since we don't go to church* we needed to have our own weekly reminders of why we were placed on this planet (to spread God's word and love one another, but also to reach moral perfection and live a life that would get us into the metaphorical heaven). So we claimed Sundays at 1:00 P.M. to be a time for sermons. Before that day arrives we write our own sermons, and pick fitting readings from any place (not just the bible) to back up or add to our sermons. Like last sunday (our first sermon ever) I picked a passage from Ben Franklin's autobiography to illustrate my point on how this journey of creating a "better" self would be somewhat difficult, but with practice and constant vigilance one will be able to conquer one's "demons". I think it's heading in a good direction. We even sing songs (hymns) and if we have time hopefully we can begin reading the New Testament. We've already finished the gospel of Matthew, now we're starting in on Mark. I really would like to make myself a better person, I mean who really doesn't? But it's so hard since we all come in with prejudices and prior perspectives and habits that are hard to get over. I may not go around screaming obscenities and telling you to your face that you're a big dummy but I'm thinking it. That's the part I have to work on. I think what Rich wants out of this is to someday create a little family of followers in which we will all sing and praise the lord, and in which the military might someday bomb us... heh. I really am serious and hopefully I'll live a life that I can be proud of... though pride is something I'd have to work on as well... haha
So have a good night all! God bless.
Me
*We don't go to church for a few reasons... first off I'm used to going to Catholic Church, though I'm not a true Catholic and Rich is not anything, he's been baptized as Unitarian Universalist... yeah never heard of them til I got here (i think I see more of their churches around than anything else). Anyway so it's weird to just go to whatever church and not be a "member" of the congregation. Also, the one time I convinced him to go to the local catholic church, boy were we ever in for a surprise. I felt as if we had stumbled upon the local KKK meeting, instead of a time for worship, prayer, and such. They said the most shocking things about non-white people and I felt a little funny standing there (or sitting there) being brown and all. Then I don't really believe in the whole pope thing so I'm almost a hypocrite for going to a Catholic church when I am home, but please blame my once protestant mother for all those sentiments. Now that I think of it, why did she ever convert? It was for marriage reasons but she didn't need to since dad has never set foot in church since Mike was baptized... gosh I'm rambling. There was a time when they didn't let girls be altar servers... though I went to a grammar school with an open mind and went to an all girls high school, ya know... there weren't any boys. Anyway, so yeah...
Replica
There's an episode of South Park in which Jimmy, a character who is handicapped, asks his mom why he's "crippled". She then responds that he is that way because before he was ever born she and his father made fun of "crippled" children. Ever since then I've been in mortal fear from thinking of all the "peoples" I've ever made fun of and my resulting children. Add Rich into the mix and that's double trouble. I will restrain from naming what my hybrid children would be... just in case an ass kicking also resulted from it. heh. It's better left to the imagination anyway.
Tomorrow will be in the high 80's and sunny over he-ah, mmm, I love sunny days. Ooh, I have to post up the picture of the week in a bit. Have a pleasant day/night all!
Happy Birthday to Adhalia...
There's an episode of South Park in which Jimmy, a character who is handicapped, asks his mom why he's "crippled". She then responds that he is that way because before he was ever born she and his father made fun of "crippled" children. Ever since then I've been in mortal fear from thinking of all the "peoples" I've ever made fun of and my resulting children. Add Rich into the mix and that's double trouble. I will restrain from naming what my hybrid children would be... just in case an ass kicking also resulted from it. heh. It's better left to the imagination anyway.
Tomorrow will be in the high 80's and sunny over he-ah, mmm, I love sunny days. Ooh, I have to post up the picture of the week in a bit. Have a pleasant day/night all!
Happy Birthday to Adhalia...
Joke of the Day
Two girls were walking down the sidewalk on a hot summer day and they noticed an old lady sitting on her front steps eating watermelon.
As the two girls walked closer, they realized that the old lady wasn't wearing any panties. Curious, one of the girls asked, "Do you find it cooler without any panties?"
The old lady remarked, "Well, dear, I'm not sure if it's any cooler, but it sure does keeps the flies off the watermelon."
hahaha
Two girls were walking down the sidewalk on a hot summer day and they noticed an old lady sitting on her front steps eating watermelon.
As the two girls walked closer, they realized that the old lady wasn't wearing any panties. Curious, one of the girls asked, "Do you find it cooler without any panties?"
The old lady remarked, "Well, dear, I'm not sure if it's any cooler, but it sure does keeps the flies off the watermelon."
hahaha
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Joke of the Day
"Not So Dumb"
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude".
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at
each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but most men are gullible.
haha. oh and also two "Men are like" jokes...
Men are like...
..Handguns.
Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
..Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.
"Not So Dumb"
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude".
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at
each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but most men are gullible.
haha. oh and also two "Men are like" jokes...
Men are like...
..Handguns.
Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
..Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.
Friday, June 04, 2004
Joke of the Day
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.
After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar."
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded, "Well, heck, if you're that far along you might as well finish the job."
haha
oh one more thing...
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.
After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar."
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded, "Well, heck, if you're that far along you might as well finish the job."
haha
oh one more thing...
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Dream A Little Dream
Last night I had a very nice dream. Well I think it was nice and I guess that's what counts (well the first part anyway). In the dream I was walking the back roads to our local supermarket, just down the street from us. In real life that road is busied by businesses and condos but in my dream it was all fields, ripe with wheat and golden grasses. It felt close to the very beginning of autumn, when it's still warm and mellow and honeyed. I'm walking the road alone, and i'm close to the supermarket and I look up at the trees and their leaves, and the colors are brilliant. First just a bright yellow, like the color our maple tree gets in the first stages of fall. The next tree is even better, flaming reds and oranges. I keep walking and looking up I see another trees leaves, and this one is the best of all, its leaves are tinged in green and orange, yellow and red, and in the light breeze they stir and seem to glimmer around me. For some reason looking at beautiful leaves gave me a happy feeling and I did a little twirl and spin beneath the tree. That's when I realized that there were a bunch of guys watching me, and when they saw that I saw them they started hooting, and though I was uneasy and embarrassed I walked past them and got to the supermarket. My mom was waiting for me and I told her what had happened and she laughed and continued shopping.
I think it's a sign that something wonderful will happen in the fall, and then something that I may be unsure of (and perhaps a tad embarrassing) will occur but I'll push through and no matter what happens my family will always be there. Or... my inner tree hugger/goddess came out and was shut down by a few, more crude of us, and looking for some comfort I found it in my mom? haha. Whatever. I thought it was pleasant anyway. And I was a bit surprised at my determination to go through the bunch of menacing men instead of finding a different route. Tylenol's "Push through the pain" award goes to me...
haha.
Okay, I'll go post a joke soon.
Nice day huh?
Me
Last night I had a very nice dream. Well I think it was nice and I guess that's what counts (well the first part anyway). In the dream I was walking the back roads to our local supermarket, just down the street from us. In real life that road is busied by businesses and condos but in my dream it was all fields, ripe with wheat and golden grasses. It felt close to the very beginning of autumn, when it's still warm and mellow and honeyed. I'm walking the road alone, and i'm close to the supermarket and I look up at the trees and their leaves, and the colors are brilliant. First just a bright yellow, like the color our maple tree gets in the first stages of fall. The next tree is even better, flaming reds and oranges. I keep walking and looking up I see another trees leaves, and this one is the best of all, its leaves are tinged in green and orange, yellow and red, and in the light breeze they stir and seem to glimmer around me. For some reason looking at beautiful leaves gave me a happy feeling and I did a little twirl and spin beneath the tree. That's when I realized that there were a bunch of guys watching me, and when they saw that I saw them they started hooting, and though I was uneasy and embarrassed I walked past them and got to the supermarket. My mom was waiting for me and I told her what had happened and she laughed and continued shopping.
I think it's a sign that something wonderful will happen in the fall, and then something that I may be unsure of (and perhaps a tad embarrassing) will occur but I'll push through and no matter what happens my family will always be there. Or... my inner tree hugger/goddess came out and was shut down by a few, more crude of us, and looking for some comfort I found it in my mom? haha. Whatever. I thought it was pleasant anyway. And I was a bit surprised at my determination to go through the bunch of menacing men instead of finding a different route. Tylenol's "Push through the pain" award goes to me...
haha.
Okay, I'll go post a joke soon.
Nice day huh?
Me
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Joke of the day
"My son's more successful than yours."
Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they
were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a
phone call.
The other three were discussing their children while walking to
the first tee.
"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself
in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now
owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful,
in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a
brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his
career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership.
"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a
friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a
stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the
last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio
as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell
him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny
are, and ask what line of work his son is in.
"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned
out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser,
and I've just recently discovered he's gay."
As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the
bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last
three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars,
and a big stock portfolio."
"My son's more successful than yours."
Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they
were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a
phone call.
The other three were discussing their children while walking to
the first tee.
"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself
in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now
owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful,
in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a
brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his
career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership.
"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a
friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a
stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the
last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio
as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell
him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny
are, and ask what line of work his son is in.
"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned
out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser,
and I've just recently discovered he's gay."
As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the
bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last
three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars,
and a big stock portfolio."
Cats and Dogs, Death and Talent Shows
It's been nothing but rainy and wet. Yesterday, in the car, I noticed lightning shooting in the sky and drove through several little downpour episodes. I woke up to rain again this morning. But according to my weather link it should be beautiful Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Last night I had several dreams. The first one was that I was put to death by lethal injection, and before I was killed the thought ran through my mind, (in a slight state of panic) of what would happen when I die? And then they shot me. I "woke" up to find that I was a ghost and several years in the future. I was "haunting" my great, great, grand nephew who insisted on calling me "Ate". haha. It seems as if, in the future, the family kept the line of Filipinos strong and only married other Filipinos. So strong in fact, that my "victim" spoke with an accent. haha
My next dream had me back in grade school. I think the teacher had split us into a few groups, so we could perform something for the talent show as a whole. I was in a group where we had to perform "Mary's Little Lamb". My job was to sit in the audience and chant the nursery rhyme while "Mary" pranced around on stage with her little lamb. We had built a set of cabinets where she would "find" the lamb peeking through and such. This was only the dress rehearsal, mind you, so we were just goofing around. After our team was done, I turned to a boy, who looked a lot like, McCauley Caulkin, and he was boasting to me about how he would win the talent show, and I shook my head and claimed that my recitation of Auden's "Funeral Blues" would bring the house down and win me the talent show. I think that's where it ended.
Just a few explanations of the above dreams...I know where they stem from. The first half of dream numero uno, was from talking to Rich yesterday about life longevity and how he and I prefer to die at a not so old age. I worry about feeling trapped inside a decrepit old body while my mind feels only 14. Also he mentioned how people are trying to find the "fountain of youth" by keeping our cells from aging and in my mind I had thought, oh no! we're all gonna have death clinics where people will just line up outside and they just give you a shot and you're dead. What if these cells mutated and had us living biblical spans? But that's the first half of the dream. I don't quite know where the second half came from...
The second dream all comes from talking with Mike about his talent competition. He's made it to the final round! yay Mike. I think the Caulkin boy might be his friend Aaron, who's also competing in the show. well there ya have it! I'll post more later. Have a great day peeps!!
Me
It's been nothing but rainy and wet. Yesterday, in the car, I noticed lightning shooting in the sky and drove through several little downpour episodes. I woke up to rain again this morning. But according to my weather link it should be beautiful Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Last night I had several dreams. The first one was that I was put to death by lethal injection, and before I was killed the thought ran through my mind, (in a slight state of panic) of what would happen when I die? And then they shot me. I "woke" up to find that I was a ghost and several years in the future. I was "haunting" my great, great, grand nephew who insisted on calling me "Ate". haha. It seems as if, in the future, the family kept the line of Filipinos strong and only married other Filipinos. So strong in fact, that my "victim" spoke with an accent. haha
My next dream had me back in grade school. I think the teacher had split us into a few groups, so we could perform something for the talent show as a whole. I was in a group where we had to perform "Mary's Little Lamb". My job was to sit in the audience and chant the nursery rhyme while "Mary" pranced around on stage with her little lamb. We had built a set of cabinets where she would "find" the lamb peeking through and such. This was only the dress rehearsal, mind you, so we were just goofing around. After our team was done, I turned to a boy, who looked a lot like, McCauley Caulkin, and he was boasting to me about how he would win the talent show, and I shook my head and claimed that my recitation of Auden's "Funeral Blues" would bring the house down and win me the talent show. I think that's where it ended.
Just a few explanations of the above dreams...I know where they stem from. The first half of dream numero uno, was from talking to Rich yesterday about life longevity and how he and I prefer to die at a not so old age. I worry about feeling trapped inside a decrepit old body while my mind feels only 14. Also he mentioned how people are trying to find the "fountain of youth" by keeping our cells from aging and in my mind I had thought, oh no! we're all gonna have death clinics where people will just line up outside and they just give you a shot and you're dead. What if these cells mutated and had us living biblical spans? But that's the first half of the dream. I don't quite know where the second half came from...
The second dream all comes from talking with Mike about his talent competition. He's made it to the final round! yay Mike. I think the Caulkin boy might be his friend Aaron, who's also competing in the show. well there ya have it! I'll post more later. Have a great day peeps!!
Me
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Joke of the Day
Two Hillbillies
Two Hillbillies in Arkansas were having the blue plate special (Road Kill) at their favorite diner, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a burger too fast. The first hillbilly said to the other, "Think we otta' hep?" "I reckon," said the second hillbilly.
The first hillbilly got up and walked over to the lady and asked, "Kin yew breathe?"
She shook her head no.
"Kin yew talk?" he asked.
She again shook her head no.
With that he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt and licked her on the butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.
The first hillbilly turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever'time".
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Funny, I should have a theme for every week. Like this week would have something to do with butts or something even more general than that. heh.
Hope you liked it.
Two Hillbillies
Two Hillbillies in Arkansas were having the blue plate special (Road Kill) at their favorite diner, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a burger too fast. The first hillbilly said to the other, "Think we otta' hep?" "I reckon," said the second hillbilly.
The first hillbilly got up and walked over to the lady and asked, "Kin yew breathe?"
She shook her head no.
"Kin yew talk?" he asked.
She again shook her head no.
With that he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt and licked her on the butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.
The first hillbilly turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever'time".
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Funny, I should have a theme for every week. Like this week would have something to do with butts or something even more general than that. heh.
Hope you liked it.
